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Explained: What is Ghostlighting, new dating trend that is leaving people heartbroken?

Ghostlight occurs when someone ghosts you first and after they come back, they gaslight you about the circumstances.

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Being ghosted is demoralizing for everyone. However, there is a current dating tendency that is even more unwelcome. There are many wonderful relationships in life—gin and tonic, Barbie and Ken, chips and dip—but other pairings are downright toxic. This is where "ghostlighting" comes in—a dreadful dating trend designed to try our patience.

What does ‘Ghostlighting’ means?
Ghostlight occurs when someone ghosts you first and after they come back, they gaslight you about the circumstances. There are many common motives for someone to ghostlight you, and each of them reveals a great deal about the individual.

There are several reasons why someone who ghosted you can resurface or contact you again. Ghosting is frequently the result of insecurity, thus the person who dipped and vanished can feel the need to dictate the course of all of their interactions, whether they are intimate or informal. 

They might then return to shift the blame and defend their insecure behaviour by claiming that *you* were to fault for their behaviour.

Dr Carolyn Rubenstein, a Florida-based-licensed psychologist told Dailymail that “the person returns but doesn’t take ownership for the ghosting (and) gaslights the person and really creates a lot of insecurity and questions for the individual. It’s a whole new level of manipulation, and it’s pretty awful and scary to see.”

They might also be acting out of envy after seeing how well you're doing without them in your TikToks, Instagram and regretting their choice to ghost you, and wanting to undermine your joy. Although it's not in their best interests, feeling resentful after a bad relationship can cause people to act in odd ways.

It's critical to remember that gaslighters are skilled at manipulating reality. Therefore, it could be difficult for you to get an honest response. Shutting the door might be the best line of action.

You could also consult a friend or therapist who is impartial. It might cast things in a new light.

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