DNA Exclusive: 'Gehraiyaan' star Deepika Padukone reveals what she does when she's emotionally vulnerable

Shakun Batra directed 'Gehraiyaan' starring actors Deepika Padukone, Ananya Panday, Siddhant Chaturvedi and Dhairya Karwa released on Amazon Prime Video on February 11. The much-anticipated love-drama that deals with infidelity, complexities in relationships, emotional vulnerability and how each individual responds to it in a given situation to keep their truth and lies intact, has been garnering a mixed response from the audience. 

However, Deepika Padukone's performance as Alisha has been lauded by one and all. 

Deepika's character Alisha is one that is constantly going through internal pain, enduring it and trying to overcome it. She's aspiring, responsible and dreams of a life of privilege. But one thing that keeps haunting her is that she doesn't want to be like her mother 'stuck' in a relationship and she doesn't believe in. Alisha's mother commits suicide and she holds her father responsible for it. And therefore, the stress, anxiety, panic attacks and the constant struggle to not be like her mother...'stuck'. Alisha's character sure has several layers to it, and she isn't all perfect. If at all, she's imperfect. 

So, to know what prompted her to take up the role, and whether there were any apprehensions in taking up the role considering she's had an experience with mental illness personally and finally what does Deepika do when she feels vulnerable, we spoke to the star herself. 

During an exclusive chat with DNA, when Deepika was asked what made her take up the role she said, "I'd be foolish to turn that part down. As actors and as hungry actors, you are always looking for parts that you can literally sink your teeth into. This was one of those films where I've had moments in my career before, where I've had moments to do it a little bit...Cocktail for example or Piku, and these are sorts of the films and characters that are coming up now after people have watched this. But, I think this one was by far the most nuanced character that I have been given and I'm not surprised because that's just who Shakun is. That is the kind of writer and director he is."

She added, "So much of it is not on paper. So much of it is a conversation, discovering as we go along, making it better as we go along. At the narration level itself, I was extremely fascinated by where he was taking this idea and this story. And when you make a film like this, there is always room and scope to make it better. So, when it is already so exciting on paper and you have a director like him the only thing that can happen is for it to get better."

Deepika further said, "It's because of a lot of trust also that I have in him that I was able to completely surrender and be honest and be myself. Somewhere we've also gotten to know each other as people over the years. I've known him from even before he has ever come to me with a film. All of that really added to this experience. He was able to direct me in a way, push the right chords and a lot of conversation."

She further added, "There were times where I felt 'okay Shakun I feel like this may not be right for my character, I feel like I can do this', and the fact that he is open to it, a lot of writer-directors are married to their ideas, thoughts and dialogues. But that wasn't the case here. I think he is always willing to learn and listen and allow his actors to feel extremely comfortable and open. He is open to new thoughts and ideas and willing to experiment. And of course, if it doesn't work we will go back to plan A, but I think what works with this is the fact that he allows you to sort of bring in your own, which doesn't happen very often."

When asked if she had any fear that taking up a role that needed to portray experiencing anxiety and having panic attacks would make her go back to a time and relive moments when she was dealing with mental illness in real life, Deepika said, "No, not really. The fact that I have had a lived experience with mental illness is just by the way. I would have done this film irrespective. It's not like I've had an experience therefore I feel the need to have done this role or this film. That is just sort of a by the way experience that I've had in my life."

She added, "No, not even triggers because I think over the years what I've been able to do for myself is to be able to separate the professional from the personal. A large part of it is also because of my battle with mental illness, I need to do that for myself. I need to cut off, leave my work behind. I need to go back home and completely disconnect from my work and just go back to doing everyday, normal things. That is a part of my mental health journey in order to not go back to that space again. Therefore, by default I never really had to worry about 'okay I'm portraying this on-screen and I'm having to play a certain scene on a day am I going to slip back into that place', that was never something that I had to worry about. Years of work teaches you that. It teaches you that you are doing a job, you do what you do and you switch off and go back home and live your life. At least that is the way I have conducted my last several years."

About what Deepika Padukone does when she feels vulnerable, the 'Gehraiyaan' actress said, "I embrace it."

"That has been my biggest learning...to live your truth. To live a life as authentic as possible and to live it with honesty. Sure you are going to make mistakes along the way, and you are going to learn and go through ups and downs and have all kinds of things thrown at you. But, the biggest service that you can do for yourself is to embrace every emotion and experience that you go through," she concluded.