9/11: My first day at work

The only money I had earned myself in life was perhaps a decade ago, when I went selling firecrackers as a boy scout. Finally, today would be the first day that I transition from a carefree student to a working professional.

Despite having an engineering degree, for which I spent countless hours in the library, I had landed myself as a financial analyst with JP Morgan Chase, which had recently become US’s top five investment banks. I think the real reason I chose finance was Gordon Gekko from the classic Hollywood movie Wall Street, with an image of very rich, no-time-for-lunch, greed-is-good attitude.

Plus I really wanted to be in New York; the mathematical layout of towering skyscrapers made me feel more alive than any place in the world.

I headed out from my midtown apartment to the underground subway with a friend and a multitude of emotions: elation, excitement, nervousness, apprehensive yet confident at the same time. Most of all, eagerness. Eager to discover what lay ahead of me because today is what I would carry with me all my life. We looked at the sign at the crossroad that said ‘Wall Street’ and smirked with the thought that we were already amongst a superior breed of young guns of the new millennia. We looked up at the sky and marveled at the World Trade Centre - arguably one of the tallest towers in the world at that time, and definitely the most charming. These twin towers were as integral to New York and its millions of visitors as the Empire State building or the Statue of Liberty; even though they were not a tourist-only sight.

Much like in the movie, I found myself at JP Morgan’s historic training centre on Wall Street. However, our feeling of exclusivity and superiority soon disappeared as we found ourselves amongst over at least 150 people, mostly Ivy League graduates, better dressed and extremely knowledgeable. I managed to make some small chat over coffee and closely observed my peers – future friends, enemies and competitors.

We were seated in the auditorium – given brand new laptops, a JPM branded bag with a notepad and pen in it with a schedule. I discovered that there would be a test at the end of the training. The top ten per cent would get to choose the division within the company they wanted to work in and the bottom ten would be asked to leave (details they evidently chose not to tell me in my interview!). “Mergers and acquisitions”, I thought, making choices in my mind. Suddenly, a thin strict looking lady almost rudely interrupted us, “Please can I have everyone’s attention…”. Indistinct in my mind, her words sounded more like a command than request, “There has been an accident reported and it seems that an airplane may have crashed into the World Trade Centre”. I was certain that this was a test – to see which of the future Gordon Gekkos panic and which ones remain composed.

She continued, “In the interest of all our safety, we have been asked to make sure you evacuate the building immediately and head to your respective homes.”

Before I knew it, people were packing up while murmuring to themselves what seemed like a night bug that I had heard back home in India. My friend came up to me and shook me out of my thoughts; and said, “I think we better leave soon”.

As we rushed out of the building, we looked up at the twin towers. Only a 1,000 metres or so away, it felt like we were looking at a movie with 3D glasses. There was smoke gushing out of the top of the building. What made it real though, was that we could see people falling off from as high as 100 feet above. I suspected some were jumping off, as I could sense that they were still alive during their fall.

But in less than a minute of this horrible, tragic and terrifying vision; my friend pointed at the sky with an expression as if he had just seen a UFO. Unfortunately, it was much worse. The nose of a second plane crashed itself into the building and ripped it from end to end.How was this even possible that two pilots could make the same mistake? It didn’t make sense, and it felt like it was the end of the world.

Except it wasn’t. We still had to survive and for that we needed to, as the saying in America, “get the hell out of there”. We didn’t imagine we could run back all the way home from the scene and hence we rushed to the next best alternative: the underground subway. As we descended the stairs amongst many others, I wondered if the subway would be operational. Running faster than I ever have, I was glad to see that it was and the gate for the train was open. Relief.

As the gates closed, we looked at each other and sighed. The train was as crowded as any Mumbai local with confused, relieved and extremely worried passengers. After moving for about 4 minutes, the train stopped. For 2 seconds, there was pin drop silence and people were waiting for an announcement or for a restart. Neither of the two happened. Instead a person to my left started shouting, “The train is on fire”.

The quiet passengers became instantly restless. Even if they wanted to run, there was nowhere to. We were stuck in the box of the train, resigned to destiny. I have never in my life seen so many people praying to so many different Gods. Suddenly it did not matter if you were white, black, brown or yellow; and whether it was Jesus or Allah or Krishna who was going to save you, everyone was praying hard. I remember my friend clearly saying to me, “What are we going to do, Ajinkya?”.

I distinctly remember how I felt at that moment. I was neither praying nor panicking. I was not scared or worried. I was quiet, calm and thinking. I had surrendered. I reassured my friend that we would be okay. Magically, the train restarted. Instantly people stopped praying and began screaming, dancing and jumping. The train went back in reverse - to where it came from; it was not over but at least we did not have die in a box.

We rushed out of the train, and started climbing stairs. I recalled having come down two flights but we had already climbed two flights up and it was still pitch dark. I tried to take another step up but there was none, and I stumbled on to myself. What we were experiencing did not make any sense – had we been in the underground train for 12 hours that the sun disappeared? But it seemed like 12 minutes! Had the world come to an end? Were we in hell? Had the train never really restarted?

And as we looked up in the sky to find the answers, that is when it “dawned” to us. The towers had collapsed! And there was so much debris flying all across, that it was as if the dust had swallowed all the sunlight, making it indistinguishable between night and day.

Once again, relieved to be alive, we continued to look for survival techniques from our next new enemy: the gushing dust. The suggested solution was simple and comparatively less adventurous. We ran into a building. There were at least 500 people in that building and this was the first time I was happy to see so many strangers in my life. We spent the next 2 hours in the building, waiting. At last it was concluded as safe to go outside, and I remember the long walk back to water, lemonade and cheers for us; and for once, it felt great to belong to a common race of humans.

After reaching home, I relaxed. It almost felt as though nothing had happened. Little did I know that the image of falling people instilled in me vertigo – a fear of heights so strong that till date I feel giddy, even on top of my own terrace. The next few months saw a different America: one that realised it was vulnerable, one that was angry and confused, but united and hopeful. I noticed a spirit in the Americans; to learn, get up and stand united which was truly inspiring. And I knew then that the world would see the twins back; bigger than ever before.

And that was my first day of work. September 11.

I believe that I have learnt more in those few hours of my first day of work than I have in the last 12 years of my career. I realised that no matter how big you are, you can fall. I learnt that as a team, if you stay together, nothing can stop you. I learnt that if you believe in yourself, God will help you make it happen. I realised that everything has a butterfly effect on the next action; and its how you pick up the fallen sticks and stand back on your feet and prepare yourself to face the world a stronger person.