I didn’t tell them I am a single mom

Nivedita Nair, a businesswoman, was a relieved parent on hearing her daughter had got into  Shishugraha School last year. Her reason for worry? She was not a housewife.

“We had applied at schools when Akshita was 2 years. Maybe we were too stressed  at that time. Every rumour rattled us. We heard that Shishugraha preferred educated housewives for mothers. Both my husband and I run a business, so we were worried,” said Nair.

School officials at Shishugraha denied following any such criterion. “We don’t discriminate against children of working parents. We do prefer taking siblings and children living in the neighbourhood. We also watch how parents behave at an interview.”

Many schools, like National Public School and Innisfree House School, seem to favour children of alumni, children of neighbouring areas and siblings of students.

“We feel children do a lot better in school when they don’t have to endure a long commute. Parents have to see the child is content with the school, not the other way round,” opined Shantha Chandran, principal, National Public School, Indiranagar.
Since the basis on which schools select applicants is largely unknown, rumours often leave parents feeling distressed. “We don’t know the basis on which schools reject applicants – whether if it is the distance of the school from the child’s home or the occupation of the parents. Yet, we have to try to fit in with the school’s criterion,” says Poornima Garuda, a parent.

“We don’t  favour any group, be it working parents or housewives. We only want to know if parents are available to cater to the child’s needs. With working parents, many a time, the child sees very little of them,” said Chandran.

Interviews for nursery admissions seem to be the norm at most schools. Three and four -year -olds are often tested on their ability to write, recite and identify objects or people by name.

“At one school, my daughter was taken to another room and given a paper, pencil and eraser to take a written test. She was in tears because she didn’t know how to use a pencil,” Garuda recalls. Her daughter has since joined CMR National Public School, which has a child-friendly approach to admission. In 2007, the Delhi High Court instructed schools to follow the 100-point system set by the Ganguly Committee for nursery admission. This system helps promote transparency in the admission process and do away with interviews with children.

“Schools prefer holding parent interviews to check if the information they provide is true. But a few schools misuse such procedures because of the skewed demand and supply situation,” says Deepa Sridhar, principal, Sri Kumaran Children’s Home.

These schools break norms
Recently, a few schools started to ask parents if they are a differently composed family. This could imply that the child is either from a single parent household or an adoptive family.

A few parents hail this as a positive move. “Schools are now willing to acknowledge the changing dynamics of family structure. If they are aware of a family’s background, it helps them better understand the child,” says Saritha Dev, an adoptive parent.
Institutions like Bethany High School, Sri Kumaran Children’s Home and Head Start  are popular among single and adoptive parents.

“The teachers at Bethany were understanding and didn’t penalise my daughter for missed assignments or my being late for parent-teacher meetings,” says Shubhangi Harne, a single parent.  Though Kumaran’s doesn’t question family composition, school officials prefer to be informed. “The school should be aware of the child’s family background.

If anything is going on with the child, we should be able to handle it in a sensitive manner,” says Deepa Sridhar, principal of Kumaran’s. However, there have been cases of single parents being victimised by popular schools. “The interview goes on fine till the point where I tell the principal I’m a single mom. Then, the tone changes and I am abruptly informed that there are no vacancies. This, after the principal tried hard-selling the school two minutes ago,” says an exasperated Ambar Zaina.

Zaina even tried hiding her single parent status to secure her daughter’s admission. But it backfired when the child inadvertently told a teacher that she rarely sees her father. “Suddenly, at the parent-teacher meeting, teachers began to harp on her coming from a broken home. There was a definite change in their attitude. So, I changed schools again,” she says.

Now, Zaina’s daughter attends Greenwood High School.