Why sex is not a secret

Sex is often considered taboo. The very word ‘sex’ invokes an urgent desire to know more about it, especially among teens with raging hormones. And, thanks to Google, there is no question left unanswered. A few inquisitive minds share how they stumbled upon this word.

A message on brother’s phone

After coming across the word sex “for the first time” in a message (on his brother’s phone), curious Pramod Kumar* discussed it with his school friends. However, he couldn’t reconcile with the idea. “Thanks to the delivery scenes in movies, I knew where the babies come from and then the frequent boy talk,” laughs the 17-year-old. Biology textbooks expanded his knowledge. “I don’t really know why it is repressed in India. Although, it would be quite awkward to use the word in front of parents or elderly relatives,” says Kumar.

Biology class was eye-opener

“While studying human anatomy in eighth grade, I got to know about it,” says Vidhi Dujodwala, who wasn’t comfortable with the word initially, as it was new “and it seemed like a taboo”, but with time and discussions with peers, she is now at ease. Though, she had a habit of narrating school stories to her mother (who’d listen without much comment), “bringing it up with my parents will be very awkward,” says the 18-year-old. According to her, sex is a way of showing love to someone. “And from movies like Fifty Shades of Grey, I came to know it can be for pleasure as well,” adds Dujodwala.

Gyaan (knowledge) from Google

“Cartoons often denote that babies were dropped by a bird at the doorstep,” says Chirag Meghwal, who is pursuing chemical engineering from Gandhinagar. He was introduced to the word (after the word blue film) from his friends and seniors. Curiosity getting the better of him, he researched it on Google. “My first porn video was a pretty bad experience, and that’s how I came to know about sex,” continues the 19-year-old. He is comfortable discussing it with the like-minded people.

Chinese Whispers

Reena Gulati* was only 12 when she first heard how she came to be, from a friend. She is now 16. “I always thought babies were born when parents wore rings on their fingers. But when I heard how, I felt sick in my stomach and stopped talking to my parents for a whole week.” It was only after much coaxing from her mom that she blurted out angrily about what she had heard. “My mother laughed hard and kissed me, and explained to me that sex happened with love between moms and dads. That made it better for me.’’ Of course a few years later, the school and biological diagrams made it far clearer.

Science teacher and friend

Initially, Reshma Ramesh thought kissing causes pregnancy. “I wish my parents would have been the first to talk about it,” sighs the 19-year-old. She got acquainted with the word — first from her Science teacher and peers later. “I understood it as a biological process, although it sounded gross at first,” adds the Sociology student. She thinks it’s a topic one should be educated about right from the early teens (especially by parents). “It’s the most common topic among my friends, so I am comfy discussing it,” she says. 

(*names changed)