Striking a balance between making time for your partner and friends can be tricky, and many married couples tend to lose a friend or two in the process. We get experts to tell you how to maintain both relationships
Studies suggest that falling in love comes at the cost of losing two close friends. And this probably explains why married couples tend to lose a friend or two along the way. There are different reasons why this could happen from focusing on your life, and partner eating into time you would otherwise spend with friends or hectic lifestyles that each of us leads. While the reasons may vary, it's should not be the norm according to psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria.
Don't cut off from your friends
She says, "Marriage brings a lot of change in an individual's life. One now has to think beyond his/her own self and needs to make some adjustments according to his/her partner as well. But this does not mean one has to forget and give up his/her individual life and relationships. Our relations prior to marriage are the ones that defined you all these years especially your friends. They definitely don't deserve to be ignored or left behind. One just needs to learn to balance between marriage and friendship by prioritising and efficient time management. We all need our own friends at times of happiness and sadness and its only those friends who have been with you all the years will be the most supporting and comforting."
Keeping your friends close
Marriage will feel monotonous and boring if you don't give time out and space to your spouse. You both need to have your own time with the boys or girls and also time with each others friends to make a happy successful marriage. There will be a lot of times in your marriage when there will be problems and would need a friends shoulder or advice to help you. At this point if you chose marriage over friendship and did maintain your friendship you will be at a serious loss and find it difficult to cope.
Varkha Chulani, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist says, " Be inclusive in your approach to each other's friends. Many a time we develop biases & prejudice about our partners friends for no apparent reason! We just refuse to like them! This is detrimental because then you will create a chasm in the relationship. So strive hard to see that both you and your partner take to each others friends as much as you can, then keeping them after marriage wont be a difficult affair!"
Certain dos and dont's that can help
Do not prioritize friends always before your spouse as they may feel neglected
Introduce your spouse to all your friends and plan outings together so get to know each other well and understand your relationship with your friends
If it's a friend of the opposite sex, make sure your spouse has no doubt about your relationship as it could otherwise lead to misunderstandings. If your spouse is a little possessive, be patient, talk to him/her and find out where his/her insecurities stem from and try and resolve the same.
If your partner still has doubts. Let him/her come to terms with it as you help them through it. There is no need to cut off from your friend but make sure that your partner knows that you are meeting him or her, and avoid lying about it.
Avoid judging your spouses friends if they are very close, respect their friendship and give yourself time to know the friends
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