New parenting code: Kids can follow their bliss

Let’s assume this as a given: A new-age mother will never stop worrying about a good preschool or the best school, or refrain from visualising her baby as a tae kwon do expert or a Spelling Bee winner.

But, even in the backdrop of these lofty expectations, there has been a subtle change in the extent to which mothers are willing to push their children.

In fact, experts say that the new-age mother is increasingly working on ensuring that her unborn has easy, stress-free growing years.

Geetika Mahajan, 29, is a case in point. She wakes up at six in the
morning. She then proceeds on to a three-hour chanting schedule that includes reciting Buddhist mantras, a visualisation session where she communicates with her placenta and umbilical cord, and lastly, talking to her baby. “I tell my baby that you are already the smartest, intelligent and best. You don’t have to do anything to validate your position when you come into this world,” says Mahajan.

Young mother Saloni Shrivastava, 25, does not wish the life of today’s five- and six-year-olds for her seven-month-old son Anshuman. “I don’t deny that the world is immensely competitive, and you don’t want your child to lag behind. But I have seen parents feeling guilty about pushing their child too much for everything. And I certainly don’t want to be one of them,” she says.

“Enrolling a one-year-old into an interview training class so that he can enter a good preschool is ridiculous.”

Experts view this shift from ‘I want my child to take it easy’ as opposed to ‘I want to give my child the best’ attitude as a welcome change. “To give your kids what you have got is as important as to give them what you have not. You don’t have to be anxious for every little thing concerning your child; it is vital that you be more relaxed and allow your child to grow naturally,” suggests psychologist and psychotherapist Anjali Chhabria.

Duru Shah, obstetrician and gynaecologist who has penned Fetal Attraction, a book and guide for pregnant mothers, points out that in today’s time, it is important for parents to stay calm because they transfer the stress to their child. “Everybody wants a superhero and a superheroine like child. But I advise pregnant mothers to enjoy their pregnancy and not get worked up about it” says Shah.      

While, at times, parents try to realise their ambitions through their children, Rita Shah, who runs the pre-natal class Nine Months, says that of late, parents appear to be more relaxed. “Late marriages, late pregnancies, nuclear families and a mobile income allows parents to bestow much more attention on their children,” she says. Parents in her current classes, she says, don’t wish to stress their child over studies and extra-curricular activities.

Mamta Talreja, a Pedder Road resident, and mother of three, says that she isn’t in favour of a choc-a-block, round-the-clock schedule once her seven-month-old twin girls grow up. “I will not like to pressurise them but I would definitely initiate them to take up things which they like, as opposed to what I deem fit for them. I didn’t send my elder daughter Ritika to a zillion classes, but she was keen on western dance. After I enrolled her in a dance class, she showed improved self-confidence and became more socially active,” says Talreja.

Pregnant mothers are feeding their unborn spiritual bliss rather then worldly worries. Like Talreja, who recited the Hanuman Chalisa throughout pregnancy. “I did this even while I was pregnant with my first child. She learned all the 40 shlokas of the Hanuman Chalisa in two days when she was just six. Children her age would take at least a week’s time to do so,” smiles Talreja.