For Chandramouli, the sounds of silence herald a new hope to march on in life

Silence is golden
My hearing was affected when I had whooping cough. I was about a year old. I was sent to the All India Institute of Speech & Hearing, Mysore, and was given hearing aids, but the aids didn’t help me much. But, there are many who can benefit by aids.

However, speech therapists helped me a lot, as being completely deaf, I am still able to pronounce words. For instance, I can pronounce my name perfectly. It was tough as I never heard any sound. My parents, sister and teachers all taught me; it took me 15 years to pronounce my name.

Although I am completely deaf, I can speak; every day is a learning experience and my speech keeps getting better.

From self-doubt to awareness
I was admitted to a deaf school, Sheila Kothavala Institute for the Deaf in Bangalore, run by nuns, who believed in teaching students the oral method and opposed the use of sign language. Not everyone knows deaf culture. They tried their best for deaf students. However, they incorporated both oral as well as sign language once they realised that we picked up signs quickly. I was 10 years old when I learnt sign language.

Signs are helpful, otherwise we can’t communicate fluently. Just as a trapeze artist needs a net for safety, a deaf person needs sign language. It is our safety net that helps us to communicate. I am good at typing, but that is because my family ensured I developed my writing skill, also I read a lot. In school we were taught only one language — English. Deaf students are exempt from learning second and third language because it is too difficult for the deaf to learn more than one language at all levels. 

Proud to be deaf
Unlike other disabilities where one needs to depend on a caretaker, deaf people can lead independent lives. The child does have to work harder, because resources are not available if a deaf person wants to pursue higher education.

Deaf are tax payers and I think the government should provide sign language interpreters for deaf pursuing higher education. Pay these interpreters; in the West the governments provides interpreters for the deaf.

I studied at St Joseph’s Evening College and managed on my own. It was tough, but I loved the experience because in a deaf school, there are only 10 to 12 students, but in the college there were 100 students. 
I studied commerce, but many tried to dissuade us suggesting I pursue Arts. Deaf people are not mentally weak, they just cannot hear, all other senses work just fine.

Family support can falter too
My family has been a great strength, but when it came to marriage, my parents wanted to find a hearing girl, but I had a different idea.
I felt that a hearing person may be forced to marry a deaf person like me.

However, I said I would agree if such a girl understands the deaf language and culture and really loves me.

My parents were opposed to my idea of marrying a deaf girl because they believed that my future offspring could be disabled.  I was not convinced. I was determined to marry a deaf girl whom I courted for some years. My parents finally relented and blessed us.

My wife Asha and I were blessed with a baby boy without knowing that he was deaf at birth. When our son was five months old, he underwent the computer-assisted hearing test (BERA) and the results showed that he was deaf.

Initially, we were shocked. But we are family. Our relatives and well-wishers are supportive and accept him as if he is their own son.

Don’t give fish, teach fishing
Growing up, I had my parents’ full support. Parents shouldn’t panic if their child is deaf. They should not be sympathetic but treat their child as they would a normal child. Facilitate your child so he can be independent. A child should be allowed to learn sign language. I know many parents hesitate and look down upon it, but it is a tool that can enable the child to lead a normal life — to communicate.

Our son also studies in a normal school. He quickly learnt the alphabet from us. He is fluent in SL, but not in English. He has yet to master writing and reading English correctly. We try to convince him to speak well because it is a necessity in this world.
We believe the proverb: “Give him a fish, he will live for one day. Teach him how to fish.  He will live forever.”

We want our child to be independent. I think that is the best gift parents can give their child, make them self dependent.