Expat kids get best of both worlds

Being a mother can be quite rewarding but it can also be equally challenging if you’re living overseas in a completely different environment. Expat mothers not only have to adapt to the new surroundings but even their children have to experience the same. And then comes the hard part, balancing the two cultures while bringing up kids in India if the foreigner has an Indian husband.

On Mother’s Day, DNA speaks to expat women who have a Puneite as a better half and wonderful mixed-culture kids, about their point of view of being a mom in a unique set-up such as this.
Jan Ali, an Irish married to an Indian, said, “I think my kids have so many opportunities because they have an expat mother and an Indian father. Here, my kids have the best of India along with the Irish culture, but it’s the beautiful Indian culture that has shaped their values. The only drawback is that they don’t get to meet their Irish grandparents often and they don’t know their Irish cousins that well. But otherwise as a mom, I am extremely happy with what they are being exposed to here in India.”

Ali feels that she is able to give her kids more choices of pursuing their passions along with great education. “I do give a lot of credit to my in-laws who gave me a lot of support and space. They kept in mind that I am a foreigner and allowed me to bring up my kids in my own way. Also my husband too was very accommodating. When my kids were young, I went to Ireland for sometime and my husband took care of the kids, which is not what a stereotypical Indian man might do,” said Ali whose son’s name is Joshua. Her daughter Anusha was 13-month-old when she was adopted from the Missionaries of Charity in Mumbai.

Dr Nicola Pawar from Germany, who is married to Pune entrepreneur Jayant Pawar, said, “It’s been really interesting rather than being difficult playing the role of an expat mother in India. My son Jonas who is 15-year-old and Tabea who is 12-year-old have got the best of both worlds. Yes, they were confused at times, for example, in India everyone eats with their hands and in the West it’s always with fork and knife, which is something as a mom I had to teach them where to adhere to which culture. In India, when we go for weddings it’s different and when in Europe, the German weddings are totally different, so the kids have been exposed to both Indian and German cultures. But of course, my children spend more time with me than my husband so they have grown up with more western influence.”

Corina Addriana from Germany, who is married to Ravinder Panesar, said, “I moved here five years ago and both my children were born here. In the beginning it wasn’t easy for me as motherhood itself is difficult plus I missed my family. I didn’t know anyone here and felt alone. But that’s not the case anymore as you have so many expat mothers living here. A group of us meet once every week with our babies. We do some activities together and share stories about our experiences so that we can help the new moms that join us.”