When we cannot ignore and stop things, we give away awards. And we’re never short of contenders. This year, however, India’s scamsters have outdone themselves to feature in this awards list. DNA picks the deserving rogues.
When we cannot ignore and stop things, we give away awards. And we’re never short of contenders. This year, however, India’s scamsters have outdone themselves to feature in this awards list. DNA picks the deserving rogues.
The disrespecting his in-laws award
Ashok Chavan
Actually, former CM Ashok Chavan was a good son-in-law. Why, he even got his ma-in-law a flat at Adarsh, an upcoming apartment block in posh south Mumbai where even a small flat can cost crores (big flats have more zeroes than we have fingers). Problem was, the flats were meant for Kargil war widows (and a widow ma-in-law wasn’t). When told he had used his power as revenue minister to allot the flat to his mother-in-law — pure nepotism — Chavan insisted that in-laws are not relatives. A loaded remark in a country run by someone whose claim to fame is being a dutiful daughter-in-law. To Chavan goes the award for disrespecting his in-laws. Now, suppose he had said that his ma-in-law was like his mother and that was why he cheated to get her the Adarsh flat, who knows, he might just have been forgiven and may have still been the CM…
The Bollywood police always arrives late award
Manmohan Singh
Like the Bollywood police who reach the crime scene after the hero has knocked out the villain and his goons, prime minister Manmohan Singh reacted to all 2010 scandals after the courts and press did the dirty work of exposing criminals and taking them to task. Be it the Commonwealth Games, where he stirred into action after a spate of media reports about delays and shoddy work, or the 2G scam, where he appeared to move after it became evident that the courts were already doing so. In true Bollywood police style, Singh arrives at the scene with all sirens blazing after the damage — and damage control — is done. However, unlike the Bollywood police who act promptly once they arrive, Manmohan Singh is yet to arrest the criminals.
The we, the people, are stupid award
Barkha Dutt & Vir Sanghvi
Top journalists Barkha Dutt and Vir Sanghvi insisted they never carried PR professional Niira Radia’s messages and merely “strung her along”. And they expect us, the people, to believe them, when it’s just their word against Niira’s.
This award goes to Barkha and Vir for believing that we, the people, are actually stupid enough to fall for their story. They deserve the award for another reason: for believing that Niira Radia, a shrewd woman if there was one, was dumb enough to still seek their help after being “strung along” all these years.
But what actually clinches this award for them (there was stiff competition in this category) is that they didn’t apologise, and instead continued to express half-baked regrets, taking us, the people, to task for questioning their behaviour. We loved their style.
Their appearances on TV where they defended themselves was what decided this award.
The lobbyist-is-fixer-par-excellence award
Nira Radia
Nira Radia took lobbying to another level, from which it may never recover. To her goes the award that made lobbying more than merely writing out interesting press releases or seeking to influence policy with well thought out and reasoned arguments about national interest. For Radia, lobbying meant doing anything and everything, howsoever possible, to get her way, and she did. If you thought that Ratan Tata and Mukesh Ambani were powerful men, perish the thought; she was the power behind them! And she did it by fixing cabinet posts, hiring former top bureaucrats, playing politicians and family members against each other, influencing journalists, etc, etc
The ultimate boomerang award
Lalit Modi
Lalit Modi’s private party was spoilt after Team Kochi brazenly gatecrashed the IPL, with a little help from a certain Shashi Tharoor, whose then girlfriend (now wife) Sunanda Pushkar held some sweat equity in Team Kochi. To Modi, the sweat smelled and he tweeted so. All hell broke loose and Shashi Tharoor lost his job as minister. But the tweets continued, revealing murky dealings in the IPL, insider trading, bribes, corruption, and what-have-you, forcing IT raids and CBI probes… and soon Lalit Modi lost his job as IPL president. Things got so nasty that he had to flee the country. To Modi goes the ‘Ultimate Boomerang Award’… a twitter that boomeranged so badly that Modi dare not return to India yet.
The learning from my mistakes award
BS Yeddyurappa
They say you learn from your mistakes. Ever since Karnataka CM BS Yeddyurappa took office in May 2008, he has blundered over and over again. Each time the BJP leadership decided to throw him out of office, he cried and promised to learn from his mistakes, and a gutless BJP leadership gave in (perhaps they, like millions of us watching TV, couldn’t stand the sight of a grown man crying). Considering the number of mistakes he has made (and the lessons that he has thereby learnt), Yeddyurappa must be India’s smartest CM today. The best part: he is still learning.
The greatest cricket fan award
Sharad Pawar
The paradox was hard to digest. Food prices have been rising all through the year (inflation has stayed consistently above 6%), pushing staple food items beyond the reach of the common man and even the not-so-common man (this, of course, does not include our millionaire politicians). Meanwhile, foodgrains were rotting across warehouses in India for lack of distribution. Agriculture minister Sharad Pawar, however, was too busy with his commitments to cricket — the IPL fiasco, becoming chief of the ICC, planning for the next World Cup, etc, etc, etc — to worry about mundane things like rotting grains and rising food prices. Cricket never had a greater fan!
The I-have-done-no-wrong award
Suresh Kalmadi
Suresh Kalmadi insists he has done no wrong with the Commonwealth Games projects. A bridge collapsed days before the games, but he is not to blame. The Army was called to help with construction work, but Kalmadi is innocent. A panel of ministers and secretaries took over after delays and shoddy work became evident, but he insisted they were just assisting.
Countries threatened to pull out because of the lack of amenities, but a Kalmadi lackey informed us that their standards are different (because Indians like to stay in substandard facilities and use stinking toilets). The initial cost in 2003 was estimated at less than Rs2,000 crore, the final cost was Rs30,000 crore (this is a conservative figure), but Kalmadi insisted it was merely inflation (which even at a 10% rate would have been around Rs3,550 in seven years). If all the above don’t point to wrongdoings, what does? Last heard, our man was still insisting he had done no wrong.
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