Why I will never say Alvida Atal ji: An ordinary memoir of an extraordinary legend

There’s a mysterious way in which universe talks to you. At times, we really don’t get the message until the moment of finality hits us. Last time something like this happened to me was in 2012. I was watching ‘Anand’. A day later, I was covering the final journey of India’s first ‘Superstar’ Rajesh Khanna on July 18. 

This time, it was 15th August, 2018. It was a working day for me. Before coming to office, I watched ‘Parmanu: The Story of Pokhran’, simply to take a break from my mandatory Independence Day viewing of ‘Purab Aur Paschim’. The John Abraham-starrer is a based on events that led to Pokharan tests in 1998. 

It took me back to the time when Atal Bihari Vajpayee was our Prime Minister and how he defended the nuclear tests in Parliament. 

By the end of the day, we saw news flashes on Atal ji’s health. The AIIMS had issued a health bulletin announcing things were very critical and that Vajpayee sahib was on life support. My heart was pounding as I wrote the news copy.

A day later, around 5:05 pm, the gloomy speculation became a dark reality. Bharat Ratna and three-time Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpyee had passed away. 

For past 48 hours, I have been watching tributes pouring in from every corner of the world. From journalists talking about his way with words, to political commentators talking about his sheer dedication for the BJP and values of democracy, there are many accounts of this multi-faceted legend. 

For past 48 hours, I have been thinking to write about Atal ji - a legend, a poet, a mass leader, whom I have idolized all my life. But I doubted my words. For every word that I wrote felt small, felt hollow and unable to convey my emotions and my respect for him. 

Still, I’m here, writing about or trying to write about him. Since childhood, I have this irritating habit of drawing parallels with all legends. Maybe that’s what we all do. We feel more connected with our idols, don’t we? 

Like I always took certain pride in saying that Atal ji and I have same sunsign and same birth date, numerologically speaking! Also, we both attended DAV, he attended college and I did my schooling from there.

Summer of '99

In this cricket-crazy nation, World Cup is one time, when we all have one religion. It was 1999 ICC World Cup in England. I’m sure everyone remembers Sourav Ganguly’s brilliant innings at Taunton against Sri Lanka, my favourite was and still is Sachin Tendulkar’s century against Kenya (for a very, very emotional reason).

Amid all this, we got the news that our neighbour Pakistan had betrayed our trust. Soon, the nation came face to face with brutal reality of Kargil War.

This changed the way I see the world. We collected funds, door to door, for Kargil. Every day, we would watch news of our jawans dying. I still remember going to a fund-raising concert for Kargil, where we kids just ran to soldiers to shake their hands without even looking at Bollywood stars! 

There are many experts who will and are talking about how Atal ji led India to victory in Kargil. But for me, the most impressive inspiration from Atal ji’s life was that he taught us the clear difference between being amiable and being a submissive person. Because months earlier, he had gone to Lahore for a historic bus trip that was an attempt of resetting ties with Islamabad. But then Kargil happened. He taught us that you can and should trust people. But when it comes to the defending honour of the motherland, there must be no going back. Hit back the enemies and hit them hard! 

I learnt from him that it is important to listen to everyone, even your adversaries. But when the need arises, stand your ground. Be Atal, Be tatastha. 

Coming back to Pokharan, I just want to take help of one of greatest Hindi poets Ramdhari Singh Dinkar ji and dedicate this peom to the statesman poet, who will always be there for us like the pole star. 

Kshama shobti us bhujang ko,jiske paas garal ho,
uska kya jo dantheen vishheen,vineet, saral ho.

Teen divas tak panth mangte, Raghupati sindhu kinare,
baithe padhte rahe chhand, anunay ke pyare.

Uttar mein jab ek naad bhi utha nahi saagar se,
uthi dhadhak adheer paurush ki, aag raam ke shar se,
Sindhu deh dhar trahi, trahi kahta aa gira charan mein,
charan pooj, daastan grahan ki,bandha moodha bandhan mein.

Sach poocho to shar mein hi basti hai dipti vinay ki,
sandhi vachan sampujya usi ka jisme shakti vijay ki.