Review: How does The Bar Stock Exchange manage to pull crowds even on weekdays?

"I like the idea of a bar where you get to lock down the price of your drink at the bottom of a curve, and then spend the rest of your evening chasing down other drinks, thoroughly mixing whatever you can get at the bottom. It's a recipe for a good bender," this is the jolly Aniceto Perriera talking. Though he was the last one to join in for the Thursday-night inspection, he's perfectly spelt out the reason behind our excitement of checking out The Bar Stock Exchange.

Having reached first, I had sufficient time for silent observation. Not getting a table immediately on a Thursday night was a delightful surprise–the inside section as well as the open section outside were full. It's not that I enjoy waiting, but a buzzing bar is always more fun. The crowd was a good mix of young and the young at heart, as well as the hip and carefree. It was 15 minutes before they managed to accommodate me, but worth it as I got a good table. Stationed on the right corner of the inside section, our table allowed an up-close view of the wall screening the fluctuating prices of spirits—as well as the day’s high and day’s low for each.

When our waiter was unable to explain the place's concept to Nirmal (who came soon after) and me and tell us whether the prices go below MRP if a particular alcohol isn't selling, we started tracking the prices ourselves. Turns out, Smirnoff was more expensive than Absolut! What does this prove? We are just creatures of habit. Most people generally purchase Smirnoff as it's much cheaper than Absolut, and they were doing it even at TBSE, causing its price to be higher than Absolut's. To take advantage, Nirmal opts for Absolut with Red Bull. I start with a non-alcoholic Orange Ginni (orange juice and ginger mocktail), which ends up being my best drink that night. And from the food menu's vast spread of north Indian and International offerings, something Nirmal found quite impressive, we order Mexican Bean Nachos and Pesto Chicken Tikka. The flavour of the nachos was good, neither bland nor too pungent and the guacamole that it was topped with was a delicious idea. But when Nirmal dug into it, he was right to comment, "The chips are stale.” He liked his chicken tikka better.

Aniceto’s eyes too began scanning the screen as soon as he arrived. And his mind rolled with ideas. “You know what would have been great? If they had an app that allowed you to check the prices on your phone.” Nirmal couldn’t agree more as he felt the screen was moving too slowly and I could imagine the convenience it would bring to those who couldn’t get such a clear view of the screen. However, the flatscreen running on another wall largely took care of my concern.

Now it was time for cocktails, and to say cheers! I generally go for rum-based ones, but didn’t find any to my liking. So I requested that the bartender make something interesting that’s not on the menu. What I ended up getting tasted mostly like oversweet lemonade and wondered, “Where’s rum and daiquiri?”. Aniceto’s Long Island Iced Tea reminded him of coke float and his Vodka Martini was flat and “not quite dry, despite the three olives!” My next attempt with Tom Collins didn’t lift my ‘spirits’ either. I had to agree with Aniceto, “The real measure of a bartender is in the cocktails he puts out.” Not willing to experiment more (the waiter said they didn’t have Hoegarden or Stella Artois), Aniceto like Nirmal stuck to Absolut, and gin and tonic water for the rest of the night.

As we got our mains we realized that the menu is priced reasonably and the chef does a good job of the presentation; but not the flavours. The boys’ Pizza Marinara and Grilled Prawns were served cold. Nirmal didn’t think the prawns were inedible, as for Aniceto the extra salt on the pizza would have been great if he were drinking beer, but didn’t work with vodka tonic. I wasn’t feeling gung ho about my Veg Ravioli Pasta either. I admit, it was a risk as I knew I may not enjoy cottage cheese in ravioli, but it tasted pretty decent. What put me off was the excess salt. On the other hand, Nirmal exclaimed it was the best thing he’d eaten that night. He liked it.

By the end of the night we were in unanimous agreement about a few things: The service is prompt, the staff is friendly and the place has a great vibe that allows you to let loose--Aniceto loved the spaciousness and wants to return on a weekend, when he imagines people would be dancing to the easy music. Had it been closer to town, Nirmal would revisit too; he liked how it was different, how it was neither too plush nor too basic, and reasonably priced, but not too cheap. We were also sure that no one’s coming here for the food or cocktails. Our desserts confirmed this—the Blueberry Cheesecake fared better than the hard and cold Chocobite Cake, but both seemed stale.

My disappointment led me to chat with the head bartender; I realized that while he has worked at a few small places, he hasn’t experimented much and his experience probably hasn’t equipped him to concoct sensations. When I asked him why people throng here, his answer was simple, “Where else will you get such cheap booze?” Did I forget to mention our excitement at discovering that Old Monk had come down to Rs.17. Unbelievable right?

Just before leaving, a conversation with another staff member revealed to us that the bar has free wi fi, so that customers can download the TBSE app that allows you to see the prices on your phone. Just what Aniceto had imagined! In fact, the app goes a step further, it allows you to place an order from your phone; the waiter only has to come only to confirm it. Using the app would have taken our experience to a whole new level, but our waiter failed to inform us, not surprising considering he seemed ignorant about other things too. The conversation took me back to the bartender’s reply about people returning here for the cheap booze. Yes, he was bang on. But it’s sad that a bar with such a great concept, limits its appeal with mediocrity.

Well, all’s not lost. It’s just been around a month since they have opened, so it’s not too late to set things right, smoothen the rough edges.

*TBSE has opened up a new branch in Oshiwara and will soon open one in Bandra too.