In good faith: Having a priest for a parent

Zoroastrianism

Apart from marrying within the community and refraining from smoking, as fire is considered sacred and the principal form of worship, Delzad Yezdi Bamji, Dilnaz Nalladaru and Hanoz Mahiar Vajidar— children of Zoroastrian priests— are expected to pray and lead good lives like anyone else. "Society expects you to be religious, if your dad is a Dastur (Parsi priest)," shares 18-year-old Delzad. "If two generations failed to attain priesthood, the family loses the right, so I felt the pressure to become a priest," says Hanoz. But according to Delzad, this is changing now, due to dwindling priestly families.

Yezdi and Delzad Bamji in the priest attire

Dilnaz remembers certain rules being strictly followed in her family, for example, taking a shower after a haircut or getting one's eyebrows done. "My parents are religious and God-fearing. My dad and grandfather would spend an hour or more praying each day," she recalls. “My parents are religious and God-fearing. My dad and grandfather would spend an hour or more praying each day,” she recalls.Prayer is important in Delzad's home as well. "Dad usually takes our family to the Agiary every Sunday. He encourages us to pray twice or even thrice, as well as when we begin a new project," says Delzad, a priest himself.

Coming from a priestly family, siblings Dilnaz and Hanoz did not turn out as religious. "I believe in good thoughts, words and deeds, and the power of karma. But, I do think that my religious upbringing helped me be more disciplined and a good human, overall," finishes Dilnaz.

Judaism

Daniel David

Now a tour guide, 28-year-old Daniel David may not always be seen at the synagogue, where his father leads the shabbat prayers on Saturday, but Daniel remembers bunking (with special permission letter) his college lectures in order to keep the Shabbat day holy. He studied in a Jewish school, where modern education was combined with Jewish customs—offs on Jewish holidays, learning Hebrew and keeping a kosher kitchen. Since finding kosher meals in India is not easy, other Indian Jews may not restrict themselves to eating only kosher food. However, non-kosher is strictly forbidden for Daniel, as is clubbing, partying, smoking, and drinking. "These rules were made 5,000 years ago when we needed certain rules about hygenie. When I smell lovely food, I'm tempted to taste it. But once I start eating non-kosher food, there's no turning back and then, it wouldn't be right to call myself the son of a hazzan (cantor) (I think it is precentor as opposed to the Christian cantor)," shares Daniel.

The Mazagaon resident still tries to observe Shabbat as much as possible. "Initially, my dad was not happy about me working on Shabbat, but he slowly came around to it." As the son of a hazzan, society expected Daniel to follow and help his father, but "my parents let me take up a career of my choice. I don't think I would be cut out to be a hazzan; from representing and praying for the whole community, knowing and observing 613 laws, observing the Shabbat... it's a big responsibility. But all said and done, I like what my father does, especially today, when our Jewish community in India is so small."

Hinduism

Ekata Shukla with her father Prafulchandra Shukla

26-year-old Ekata Shukla developed her values by observing her father, but on her own terms. "I was raised like any other kid. Apart from eating vegetarian food and not drinking alcohol, there were no fixed rules to be followed just because I was from a priestly Hindu family. Dad was disciplined, yet fun around me," she shares.

Ekata grew up with a firm belief in God and often found peace at the nearby Ganpati temple. She loved having the best of both worlds—learning more about her religion from her dad and having her share of freedom as well. But what she loved most, was how he explained little details to her. "Whenever I made a mistake during a puja, he explained how and why it's to be done the way it should. During Ganpati, we would perform the puja together; I would do the rituals and he would say the shlokas. Now that I'm married and living in Pune, I cherish these memories."

Christianity (Indian Orthodox Church)

Josh Joseph with his father Achen Joseph Samuel Karukayil

"On Sundays, when most dads (and us kids) had a holiday, my dad had to work," says law-student Rebekah Mathew. "Since birth, I've been labelled as 'Achen's' (priest) daughter and often, friends would think I'm supposed to be extra holy. But on the plus side, I've studied in every possible board, since my dad gets transferred every three years; I've made a lot of friends; and I'm always treated as a VIP at church functions," she shares. Good conduct, time restrictions, family prayer time, friends watching what they say around them, questions on the Bible... this was a part of the daily life for Mumbai siblings Rebekah and Reuben and Trivandrum-based Josh Joseph.

Sundays were reserved for church for all three. "I often missed my basketball competitions on Sundays, even though I was the team captain," shares Josh, adding that he never went for a movie until he was 18, even then rarely and mostly with cousins. But his father was well-known and the mere mention of Joseph Samuel Karukayil or Karukayil Achen would solve any crisis. Being the son of an Achen, Josh learnt everything about religion early in life and became an altar boy at age 8 (versus the usual 10/12). "I also had the opportunity to meet bishops, when I was only 4". As for Reuben, he could not imagine attending mass said by another priest. "I feel proud when dad says mass. He's different, one step closer to Christ," shares the Malad resident.

Since many associate priesthood (in Christianity) with Catholics, Rebekah has to often explain that there are different communities and before a man becomes a priest in the Indian Orthodox Church, he can get married. All three have seen the deep commitment it takes. "It's not only saying mass, but looking after the church administration, conducting marriages and baptisms, sacrificing many pleasures in life... I've seen dad in the church the whole day; it's a hectic, not to mention a holy and noble vocation," said Reuben.

Rites of passage?

Realisation
Daniel David recalls a childhood incident during the Jew holy festival of Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement)—when Jews are expected to wear white, remain on a fast and pray intensively. It so happened that it coincided with Ganesh Chaturthi and, "I happily started shouting Ganpati Bappa, Morya. I was with my aunt at that time. All the women around us objected and started talking down to my aunt, assuming that she was my mother. They kept saying, 'He's the son of a hazzan, how can he do this.' I will never forget that incident," recalls Daniel.

Father's Name
It was a college festival, and Josh Joseph had been the ring leader of a group of boys mocking a compere (a fellow student). At the end of the event, the compere's mother came up to Josh and tried to mock him to make him understand that making fun of people could hurt their feelings. Being thick-skinned, Josh howled in front of her to teach her the right way to howl when making fun of someone. When her efforts failed to have any impact on him, she simply said: "You're Karukayil Achen's son, right?" "I stopped smiling at once and then she said 'I know your mother too'; that really hit me. I apologised at once, but she simply said it was okay and let me go." It didn't take Josh long to realise that he ought to have been careful because people are watching him and that he was not only disgracing his name, but his father's too.

Kissing the cross
Reuben Mathew was in the second standard when he decided he wanted to go out and play with his friends instead of sitting through the entire Good Friday service. "In the Indian Orthodox Church, the children sit in the front and the adults sit behind, with men and women sitting separately. There were many doors, so I slipped out with my friends. During the Good Friday service, there comes a time, when everyone kisses the cross, after which the cross is taken behind the altar, which is not open to the public during the Holy Week. Since I stayed out until mass was over, I missed this important part. So, when mum asked me if I kissed the cross, I said no. I then got the yelling of my life and a few whacks too. Ever since, I realised the importance and holiness of the day and I'm always in church till the end (from 8am to 3pm)," says Reuben.