Hold your kids' hands as they surf

The McAfee- Synovate Survey on internet safety awareness among urban Indian families throws up some alarming figures.

According to the survey, while most urban parents monitor and control the time spent by their children online, almost one-third of the respondents are not aware of the their kids’ specific online activities.

Parents also seem to have a liberal attitude when it comes to their kids, aged between six and 15, accessing social networking sites. How can you stop them, you may say. Here’s what’s troubling: as many as 57% of parents said they know their kids lie about their age to gain access to sites such as Facebook and Orkut.

“We hold our children’s hands when we are at a crowded railway station to keep them safe. Then why do we let them negotiate the Internet all by themselves?” says Anindita Mishra, freelance content writer and mother-of-two whose new role is that of McAfee ‘Cybermum’.

The Cybermum project was conceptualised by the cyber security company to raise awareness about threats in the online world: from virus attacks to identity theft to cyber stalking (which can lead to real world stalking) to child pornography and paedophilia.

Mishra’s job is to use this platform to blog about the dangers children face online as well as provide tips to avoid them. As part of the campaign to educate parents, teachers and children on this, Mishra will also will also travel to schools and make presentations on cyber safety.

Threats from the Internet, even the seemingly fuzzy-wuzzy social media, can come from unexpected quarters, says child psychiatrist and developmental consultant Dr Shefali Batra, talking about a case of a 15-year-old boy whose parents brought him to her when he displayed symptoms such as severe social withdrawal, refusal to go to school or to play with friends and extreme moodiness.

The boy revealed that he was being bullied online by older boys who were stalking him on social networking sites and threatening physical harm.

“He was obviously suffering from low self-esteem issue, which had led to him putting up a false profile picture of a better-looking, better-dressed boy and making false claims on the website showing off about things he didn’t have. The older boys had found out and were using this to blackmail and bully him,” says Dr Batra. She also mentions another young social media fan who feels restless unless he’s made 200 new friends on Facebook every day.

“It’s an obsession with him and it has started interfering with his normal life,” says Dr Batra.
According to Mishra, ignorance is the biggest challenge confronting parents as their children go online. Most parents associate the Internet with fun and information dissemination and refuse to take cyber threats seriously, she says.

“A mother of a teenage daughter will not allow her child to go for a late-night party, but she is happy if the girl is sitting at home in front of the computer. This attitude has to change,” says Mishra. She and her husband are on Facebook, she says, not just to monitor her teenage children’s activities but to create better bonds with them through shared interests.

This is crucial, agrees cyber security expert Ram Swaroop, president and co-founder of the Chennai-based Cyber Security Works.

“Parents have to arm themselves with knowledge. Most parents are not savvy enough to know how to set up the right filters and checks to create a safe online environment for their kids,” says Swaroop, recommending open-source software such as Naomi, an Internet filtering program intended for families and parents.

“Parents are often lazy about upgrading to better anti-virus or Internet filtering software,” says Venkat Krishnapur, senior director of engineering, McAfee.

“They need to follow some basic discipline. The right products such as McAfee Family Protection can help them.”