Let’s talk about women’s right to self-pleasure

Shock, resentment, amusement, scorn, horror...these are just some of the reactions when discussing female masturbation in public. The rule of female sexuality is this: Not for recreation, no; intercourse is only for procreation. And masturbation? “While jokes about men ‘jerking off’ are common across the nation, people can’t imagine women can also pleasure themselves,” says sociologist Samayeeta Ghosh.

While teenage men can brag about how many times they do it in a day, Sugam Singhal, a media professional, has been asked to shut up point blank, almost every time she tried talking about female masturbation. “It is sad, to say the least, that our society is still coming to terms with a woman doing things for her ownself. A woman’ sexuality should always be in relation to her respective men. It’s actually quite funny, come to think of it,” she says, “that men masturbate by watching women masturbate (in films), but frown at the mention of it,” she says.

“The sole reason why female pleasuring is looked down upon is the male-centric discourse of sexuality that always downplays and tries to tame female sexuality,” explains Ghosh. “See the paradox here? The thing that is a subject of scorn in public discourse also becomes a highly popular form of sexual act in the pornographic industry. After all, Sunny Leone is known for her ‘solo’ acts.” 

Social activist Saleha Paatwala, who works with an NGO that is trying to eradicate female genital mutilation, heard this at a workshop. “The area between a woman’s legs is the ‘safe deposit’, the ‘key’ of which is with her father and after she gets married, her father gives it to her husband. And if it is robbed, then nothing is left,” said a participant.

In literature and cinema, the act of a woman climaxing is suppressed, fetishised or demonised. In recent times, female masturbation was brought to mainstream Indian screens through Jism and Ragini MMS 2. One portrayed the masturbating woman as a nymph, the other, a pornstar. Only in Lipstick Under My Burkha was masturbation and self-pleasuring normalised; exactly like it should be (yes, even for a middle-aged woman from a small town).

OVERHEARD

Social activist Saleha Paatwala, who works with an NGO that is trying to eradicate female genital mutilation, heard this at a workshop: The area between a woman’s legs is the ‘safe deposit’, the ‘key’ of which is with her father and after she gets married, her father gives it to her husband. And if it is robbed, then nothing is left.