They can’t nominate a partner for an insurance policy or adopt. There is hardly any support system for them legally and socially.
The dramatic case of a woman undergoing a sex-change operation to disguise her lesbian relationship presents an extreme case of a reaction of a same-sex couple to the social resistance to such relationships in India.
Although Indian society is witnessing an increased number of people coming out of the closet to admit their gay status, not all same-sex couples are as fortunate as Durban-based Joe Singh and his partner Wesley Nolan who married in a public ceremony officiated by a Hindu priest in May this year.
In an exclusive report on Friday ('I changed sex for her, but she dumped me'), DNA reported about a case in a Pune court wherein a 34-year-old underwent a sex change operation and entered into a man-woman marriage as per Arya Samaj rites before she was deserted by her 39-year old lover.
The woman has now filed a case before judicial magistrate (first class) Jyoti Purkar accusing her former lover of not only inducing her to change her sex with false assurances and cheating her of her property.
Gay and lesbian activists and support groups told DNA on Saturday that same-sex couples face several complications in their relationship-right from insecurity to psychological pressures and legal complications.
"Same-sex couples usually go through a lot of insecurity as the concept of a permanent partner is almost non-existent. It leads to suicidal tendencies, suppressed emotions and aggression among them," Tejaswi Sevekari, director, Saheli HIV/AIDS Karyakarta Sangh said.
Sevekari said that since such relationships are considered illegal in India, small but important issues cannot be addressed.
"For instance, if a person in such a relationship wants to nominate his or her partner for an insurance policy, it can’t be done. They can’t adopt either. There is hardly any support system for them-both legally and socially," she said.
Severkari regretted that there were very few trained counsellors who specialise in counselling homosexuality-related issues.
Panna Gabriel, a transgender and founder-director, Ashirwad NGO that works for trans-genders and homosexuals said homosexuals face many problems and injustices psychologically and socially.
"We have to deal with a lot of societal pressure and I am facing it for the last 40 years," said Panna.
She said that on Saturday itself she counselled 12 couples who were undergoing problems related to love.
"Some desperately want to get married but since society does not permit such relation they are forced to keep their relations under wraps. Such people find it very difficult to cope with maters of heart, she said.
Reacting to DNA's report on Friday, Panna said, "The DNA report shows what societal pressure does to a homosexual who is madly in love. Now, her life is devastated as she is being cheated by her partner, who still remains a woman."
According to Nandita Ambike, a counsellor and trainer in sexuality, when a heterosexual marriage or relationship breaks, family and friends usually pressure the couple to stay together. "But it's the exact opposite in the case of a homosexual couple. The relatives are happy as they feel that they can now get their son or daughter married to a 'normal' person," she said.
Ambike also pointed out that when a person undergoes a sex change by will as an adult, one cannot really blame the other person. "But in this case as there is a child and property involved, it might be a challenging case," she said.
Prominent gay rights activist and UNAIDS member Ashok Row Kavi, said, "I don't believe in the institution of marriage as it means binding of the weaker partner and exploiting him/her. If it is a rule then why isn't it similar for everybody? Why only does a male have the right to get married to a female and vice versa?"
He said that if the rules were same for all then this wouldn't have happened in this lesbian case. She wouldn't have undergone a gender change.
"I think, society should accept homosexuality and make laws where people won't face problems, especially cheating by their partner," he said.
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