Mahinder Watsa: Talking sex @ 90

It isn't raining. Yet the lane adjacent to the Mumbai mayor's bungalow is inundated this muggy afternoon. It's sea water brought in by high tidal waves. Getting out of the muck to one of India's best known sexologists Dr Mahinder Watsa's tastefully-done third-floor residence overlooking the Bandra-Worli Sea Link is a huge relief.

The much-respected sexpert, who was conferred the prestigious Dr Ved Vyas Puri award by the country's largest voluntary organisation Family Planning Association of India, has barely exchanged pleasantries and offered me some lemonade when the phone rings. Without any irritation, he patiently hears out the caller and advises, "Get a sperm count test done and get your wife to see a gynaecologist. Once they establish that all is ok you can have sex every alternate day to improve chances of conception."

Done, the nonagenarian turns around and smiles. "I get nearly 100-120 queries by mail daily apart from the 20 sent to me by the tabloid. Most are about penis-size anxiety and masturbation followed by anxious young couples eager to have a child," he admits, and adds, "It is nice to see women opening up about sexual and reproductive health and coming forward to ask questions. While we still have a long way to go, this speaks of the tectonic shift in attitudes related to sex."

According to him strides in sexual and reproductive health are an integral part of women's empowerment.
The affable doctor, who lives alone with a maid and has a personal assistant to help him, did not start off as a sexologist. He was an obstetrician and gynaecologist, and gave up this practice in the mid-1970s to focus exclusively on sexual health. "I realised I had practiced for 50 years. Age was catching up and I was not as steady with my hand in surgery and decided to explore other avenues. Then sex therapists and counsellors in India were unheard of and even in medical quarters this subject was kept hush-hush," he recounts. "I had once gotten a sexual health query from a woman in Andhra Pradesh. I did my best to find a counsellor or therapist through an NGO and was amazed at the blank I drew. But then when such services were unheard of in Mumbai, you can imagine what the condition was like in the rest of India."

Watsa's current column in a Mumbai tabloid is not his first. He started answering health-related queries for publications in the early 1970s for magazines like Trend, Femina and Flair. He remembers how it was taboo to even mention sex in those publications, despite many queries being actually related to sexual health. "Editors would call me and say they were dropping entire questions because they found them too explicit or sensational. They feared how readers would react. Not only sex I remember being very sternly censored for using the word 'condom' or 'vagina' in my answers," says the man who has always lived far ahead of his time. "Given the extent of censorship, I stopped these columns and switched to websites and erotic magazines."

Things have of course changed. Today he is known for his sexpert advice q&a column. Watsa enjoys a huge fan following, many choosing to read his column on their commute to work much before they even go to the front page. In fact, he is so popular for his razor-sharp wit as he tackles even the most laughable questions, that the column has spawned a number of fan pages on Facebook and often gets tweeted about.

He tries to brush off a question on his tongue-in-cheek responses. "I don't think I have any special wit. People keep telling me about it and I wonder," he says modestly when prodded. "When I was pursuing my MBBS and MD I had a group of friends known for their ready repartee on anything. Spending considerable time with them seems to have rubbed off on me too."

He explains that he cannot reply in language meant for medical journals so he resorts to wit. "I have to keep it short and simple. This style allows me to be direct." Yet he admits that not everyone can stomach the humour and he often gets hate mail.

"As long as I continue to get more queries than hate mail, it's ok," he laughs.

Watsaisms:

Two days ago I had sex with my girlfriend. To prevent pregnancy we bought an i-pill. But in the heat of the moment, I popped it instead of her. Can it cause complications for me?

Next time please use a condom and make sure you don't swallow that too.

I'm a 36-year-old single man. Six months ago I had sex with a housewife. Then I made as many as 220 strokes in the 40 minutes of our intercourse. Now I can only reach 180 in the same time. Please reply as I'm worried.

Do take part in the Commonwealth Games since you seem like an athlete. My advice is to enjoy the act and stop counting.

I've heard acidic substances can prevent pregnancy. Can I pour a few drops of lemon or orange juice into my girlfriend's vagina after intercourse?

Are you a bhel-puri vendor? Where did you get this weird idea? Why not try safe and easy methods like a condom instead?

Is it safe if penis is kept in the vagina when sleeping?

Usually when the penis returns to flaccid state, it will slide out of the vagina. Even if it does not, be rest assured the vagina will not have it for breakfast.