Every day I feel like ending my life: Santosh Pawar

The thought of ending his life comes to the mind of 30-year-old Santosh Pawar every day owing to drought, debt, crop failure and inability to provide daily meal to his family of six people. But thinking about his kids, wife and ailing parents, after his death makes him change his mind.

Santosh — a resident of Renapur village of Latur district — holds a bachelor's degree in Arts and wanted to pursue post-graduation. However, his family's financial condition proved to be a major hindrance and soon he joined his father in the farms.

"At times, I feel that our region is cursed due to which cannot do anything but traditional work. The consecutive drought in Marathwada for the past three years has forced everyone to look for alternative jobs," said Santosh.

Due to lack of work in his village, Santosh and his 25-year-old wife travel to places like Solapur, Satara and even Karnataka to work in sugar-cane farms. "I am educated but it's proving helpless. I applied for jobs in several schools and colleges, but faced rejection. Searching for work forces us to leave behind our kids. There are times where we don't see them for months. The supervisor does not allow us to leave because we take our salary in advance. So, we are like bounded labourers. If we take a day's leave to see our children, the supervisor abuses us and even beats us. We have become slaves," said Santosh.
His father 70-year-old Ratan is half-blind and this happened because the family did not have money to take him to the hospital. "He was working in the farm when something hit his left eye real bad. We wanted to take him to

the hospital but had no money for the treatment. We applied a paste of turmeric and oil which did not help the cause," he said.

Shedding light on his daily struggle Santosh said they earn between Rs150 and Rs200 every day — if they are lucky to be hired by a contractor — but around half the money is wasted on travelling. "As there is no work in our village, my wife and I take the morning bus to Latur where construction supervisors come looking for labourers. We are paid around Rs150-200 per day but the to-and-fro journey costs us Rs80. If we don't get any work we end up spending Rs 80 for nothing," said the 30-year-old.

Earlier, only labourers used to look for work, but now things have changed and everyone is in trouble due to the drought. "The supply is more than demand. Hence, more people end up being rejected. We are fighting for survival. If we get work, we can feed our family. But there are days when we are forced to sleep empty stomach," he rued.

Santosh also tried going out to big cities. "Many people were moving out so I too joined the bandwagon. I got a job at a call centre in Pune where I was paid Rs 4,500 per month. I used to travel from Hadapasar to Vimannagar in Pune and due to the travelling, rent and other monthly expenses I was unable to save any money. I asked for a salary hike which never happened. Hence, I quit my job and decided to come home where at least I would get to eat proper food. But this drought snatched everything from our us," he said.

He added: "We get 6kg each of rice and wheat from the local ration shop. But it is insufficient to feed a family of six. On September 12, I bought our monthly quota of rice and wheat. Now, we are left only with 1 kg of foodgrain. Some time, we just feed biscuits to our kids at night. It is the worst phase of my life," said Santosh.

Talking about the twist in fate, Santosh said the hybrid jawari — once preferred by none and was very cheap — has now become a luxury. "We are not in position to buy hybrid jawari. Earlier, it was sold at Rs 7 per kg but now it is priced at Rs 22 per kg. For water, we walk around 3 km every day as the local authority has disconnected our water supply due to non payment of bill. How can the government expect us to pay the bill when we are going through hell due to the drought?" he concluded.