One-night-stand and happily ever after

Scorned by the man she was dating for six years, Liza Sharma, a PR professional went ahead and sought solace in the arms of a complete stranger. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that one night of passion would turn into a life-time commitment. One-night-stands have a certain reputation and having too many of them can certainly give you a reputation! And if you wake up regretting it, don’t worry as a one-night-stand doesn’t necessarily doom a relationship. A University of Iowa study suggests that having sex at the end of the first meeting might not be a relationship killer — it’s how you handle the situation in the morning that makes the difference. While the ‘average relationship quality’ was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex, early sex was not to blame for the disparity.

“When I woke up in the morning and found a stranger sleeping next to me, I was horrified. I clearly remembered heading to the nearest bar to drown my sorrows. Then I got hysterical sitting all by myself and soon was disclosing all the failure and hurt of the end of my six-year-old relationship to a complete stranger,” says Liza recollecting how it all began. She points out that the initial spark set things rolling, and adds, “We have been happily married for two years now. The morning after I was so embarrassed that I vowed to never see Adil’s face again but he insisted that he would drop me home and turned out to be a perfect gentleman.” Liza states that hook-ups are no longer a stigma in the Indian society.

Sudeep Dutta, a university professor, however, disagrees with this totally. “I totally compartmentalise my life. I date and get to know a person with whom I would love to have a long-term relation with. I’d rather know our compatibility factor before getting intimate. Flings are just for fun, the in-between factors till I find the right girl.” While dating falls under the romance category, friends with benefits and hook-ups do not. “At times one-night-stands can be a catalyst to recognising the potential of a relationship that you have ignored. My best friend who is now my fiancée was one person whom I had taken for granted. But that one-night changed my way of looking at our relationship,” confesses Anisha Lahkar, an IT professional.

The study suggests that rewarding relationships are possible for those who delay sex. But it’s also possible for true love to emerge if things start off with a more Sex and the City approach, when people spot each other across the room, become sexually involved and then build a relationship. Dr GC Dey says, “Certain people are prone to finding relationships unrewarding, and those individuals are more likely to form hookups. The question is whether it’s the type of relationship that causes lower quality or whether it’s the people. Most commonly it’s something about the people and their attitude towards the relationship that determines how far the couple will go.”