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No respect!

But how does one get it? Do you earn it? Buy? Demand? Or beg for it? Few get it naturally

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Do people like you more when you dislike yourself? Or do people dislike you when you like yourself more? Respect is the keyword. But how does one get it? Do you earn it? Buy? Demand? Or beg for it? Few get it naturally. Most have no respect at all. Sometimes for themselves, mostly for others. I, on the other hand, happen to be one of those very few individuals who gets no respect from anyone whosoever.

I asked the waiter for a doggy bag, he asked me to just sit facing the wall. No respect. It’s not easy being me. 

Last month, my house was on fire. My mom told the servants, ‘Be quiet, you will wake him up.’ No respect. 

Last week, I told my mom, “We need a home improvement loan.” She gave me Rs 10,000 and asked me to move out. No respect. 

My girlfriend is no less. When she was out of town, I called her and up and told her, “Honey, I was thinking about the last time we got cosy and I’m really excited now.” She replied back, “Who’s this?” No respect.

I remember the first time I dated her. She told me, “Come over to my house. There’s nobody here.” When I went there, it was locked. There wasn’t anybody there! No respect. 

My girlfriend drives me nuts. She was afraid of the dark, she saw me naked. Now, she’s afraid of the light! No respect. 

Actually, I shouldn’t crack jokes about my girlfriend. You see she’s attached to a machine that keeps her alive. The refrigerator! Her father’s even worse. He’s my family doctor. Yesterday, I told him, “Doctor, every morning I wake up, I look at the mirror and I want to throw up. What’s wrong with me?” He said, “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect!” No respect.

I understand I’m ugly, but not that ugly. Last Halloween, the kids in my neighbourhood dressed up like me! One of them even tried to pull my face off, thinking it was a scary mask. No respect. 

As a kid, when I asked my mom why she never took me to the zoo, she replied, “If they want you, they will come and get you!” No respect. That’s the story of my life. No Respect. No Respect. No Respect!

So now, in this obviously made-up ‘No Respect for Myself’ article, I have tried to prove a point. When you respect others, they respect you back. 

Doesn’t mean that if you speak sweetly to the cabbie, he won’t charge you the fare. It just means ‘Respect others as much as you respect yourself or you will get No Respect. No Respect. No Respect!!!’

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