2015 - Bringing Your 'Best Possible Self' To Work

"This is the true joy in life. Being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one." – George Bernard Shaw

Before we bring in the New Year, it is a good time to reflect on what your true potential is. If you have thought about a New Year's resolution, then that is even better. If not, here's why you should consider making one.

Humankind made great progress because of great men and women who reached beyond themselves. When people can even just visualise their potential, miracles happen. Mozart and Beethoven gave us amazing music. Enzo Ferrari, with his achingly beautiful super-cars; the Wright brothers and their flying machines; hundreds of scientists collaborated with Marie Curie, Alexander Bell and Thomas Edison dramatically changed the world for us. Divine temples, towering spires of cathedrals, memorials of love and valour, stand as a memory of inspired deeds of humankind. Tagore, Frost and Yeats wrote poetry which a hundred years later still inspires people to reach beyond themselves. 

Here is a true story. Roopal runs the front office of a super luxury resort in Udaipur, Rajasthan. January is the absolute peak season in the hotel industry. Last Monday, she was on her way to work, and singing 'Manic Monday' when disaster struck. She tripped and fractured her ankle. Most people I know (yours truly included), would stay at home nursing their leg and cursing their luck. Not Roopal. The next morning, she was back at her job, in a wheelchair and a rather ugly crutch, commandeering the functioning of her hotel. 

I asked Roopal how she views her job. Her response totally blew me away. “I can describe my job in one word – Passion. Passion to serve people. The happiness that I see at the end of the day on a happy guest's face is totally worth every pain! Plus I like the life - I get to meet so many different people from different regions. Every time I meet an international guest, I end up feeling, gosh, he is so much like us! I am a hard worker so the long hours don't matter.”   

What drives her to ignore her physical pain? She brings her true self to work everyday. She loves her work. It is a part of her identity. Mishaps large and small are interpreted in view of the big picture that she can visualise for herself. 

Falling (no pun intended) is about quickly recovering learning. An injury, tough and long working hours, harsh feedback from customers and peers are instruments of learning, not failure. It is apparent that hospitality and care is her identity and her way of living her life. 

However, Roopal is rather grumpy about her cast because she wanted it in pink. The brutal, ruthless doctor gave her a white one.  

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi stated that “Purpose, resolution and harmony unify life and give it meaning by transforming it into a seamless flow experience”. 

What drove Enzo and Roopal? Simple. They believe in their best possible potential. Their cognitive ability in their belief translates into constructive action. Their jobs transcends from a set of activities to a structured process of accomplishment and achievement. Building cars was not a job to Senor Ferrari. He wanted to build machines which rediscovered the meaning of engineering and redefined automotive excellence. Welcoming guests to her beautiful country gives Roopal meaning and joy in her life.  

You do not need to be great geniuses or CEOs of large companies for your life to have meaning. People like Roopal are not alone. The planes, flown by young men and women who wake up at 3 in the morning and greet us at their aircraft doors. Countless struggling artists wake up, reach their studios and be just one of the fifty voices in a chorus. Thousands of underpaid and unappreciated teachers reach school to help young minds, billions of mothers worldwide wake up everyday to ensure their family get the best of the world. 

You do not have to be a larger than life genius to make an impact in the world. Meaning is what drives human beings. 

In 2015, start a Best Possible Selves Diary. Find a nice quiet place, and think of what your life will be one, five or ten years from now. Think about your best possible self. Imagine that everything has gone well, exactly as you have imagined it. You have really worked hard, succeeded and accomplished all your life goals. All your life dreams have been realised. Visualise where and how you would be if all your current dreams came true and you have reached your own best potential. 

You might find writing about it a bit strange and difficult, but with a bit of practice you will become better at it. You can revisit the diary, when you are feeling a bit lost or when you want to add a new goal. For me, just reading my own diary invigorates me. 

If you enjoyed this exercise, you can now break your long-term goals into short-term goals.

So, if I want to look better than George Clooney, I need to start by losing weight and save money for a nice suit. 

If you want to start a business, a sub goal might be to save money and talk to experts on people who have started similar businesses. 

Best Possible Selves is an exercise which, Laura King first documented in her paper called “The Health Benefits of Writing About Life Goals” and later by Sonja Lyubomirsky in 'The costs and benefits of writing about life’s triumphs and defeats' and 'How to increase Positive Emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualizing best possible selves'. 

How does writing about your Best Possible Selves work?

- Hal Hersfield found out through his experiments that when people are connected with their future self, think deeply about their future goals, they make concrete action about what they can do immediately. 

- Roy Baumeister and Walter Mischel, the two tallest figures in the field of will power, self control and self regulation studies have amassed huge scientific evidence that if you can make the connection with your future self you will start making those corrections right away, so that you will have a better life in the future. 

- Barbara Fredrickson had explained how the cognition skills of positive people are broadened. Writing increases the positive emotions and positive people show a higher sense of mastery and higher self-regard. 

- Writing your best possible selves makes you see the bigger picture. It gives you your “true north”. 

- Positive people begin to recognise that they hold the power of transforming their own lives. They recognise that they themselves need to take action and responsibility for building their own future. 

- When they write down their best “possible” selves, it becomes a commitment to the most important person in their lives- their own beings. 

Why write specifically? 

My yoga instructor keeps saying that the mind is like a drunken monkey, jumping from one branch to another. Just thinking or fantasising is exactly like that. The drunken monkey keeps jumping without a stabilising construct or system. Just thinking, fantasising, day dreaming or just imagining does not allow that.  

Writing your thoughts into goals and plans, forces you to structure your thoughts. 

Writing over a number of days, helps you explore multiple options, integrate and evaluate multiple viewpoints in a coherent manner. 

Writing multiple times, helps you recognise conflicting thoughts and helps you visualise new possibilities and solutions to obstacles that you might face. 

If you see yourself conversing in French while on a vacation to Paris, you are more likely to take that French language course. 

If you visualise yourself looking drop dead gorgeous at your sister’s wedding, and everyone complimenting you on your glow, chances are you will give the next blueberry muffin a pass and eat an apple instead. 

To end, here's what Roopal has to say about what she brings to her job and what her job means to her. “My role is like the centre of the earth. I am responsible for the most important product - rooms. The front office is like the control centre of a hotel. It is very challenging because you have to think fast, think on your feet, have a great presence of mind and most importantly be decisive. I like the challenge. I am an army brat and challenge and ambition appeals to me!”

Life is just too short, to not bring your best self, every moment of your life. 

In 2015, I wish that we finally figure out that our jobs are indeed the center of the earth. Scientists say that every human being has 25 strengths. If you can bring them to work, you can flourish. We can then all seek crazy challenges, work crazy hours and bring our internal brat to work. 

We just need a billion more Roopals in this world. When I grow up, I want to be like her (she is half my age and twice my wisdom, with more drive). 

Bring out the pen and a nice new notebook. Write your destiny in your Best Possible Diary. Your grandkids will want to read about their amazing grandma. Might as well give them your version!