Separation fear plagues kids

The recent court notice to four city schools which had fixed two years as the minimum age for admission to their pre-KG classes has revived the debate on the right age for children to begin schooling.

Psychologists and a large number of articulate parents are convinced that sending children to school before they are three is cruel and, in the long run, counter-productive. However, there is a minority opinion that children can be send to school before this age but only for an hour or two.

Professional psychologists say that children who have to attend school before they are three are filled with separation anxiety. This can manifests in various ways and is frequently the root cause of other forms of anxiety among children, shyness and even unruliness in behaviour.

"I taught my child at home till he was three-and-a-half years old. I think it is important for the child to spend his first three years with his parents, particularly with his mother. This is good for children because the most important part of emotional growth takes place in the first three years," said psychologist Nilima Parikh.

Parikh taught her son, Jairaj, at home using flash cards which she developed herself. She further said that children below three years of age are very dependent on their mothers. Sending them to school at this age hurts them at the emotional-level and causes separation anxiety.
"I used to teach him basic things - such as colour identification, numbers and shapes - but all at home. This helps the child develop a special bond with his mother and later helps him socialise in a positive manner with other children," she said.

Nashy Chauhan, director, Anand Niketan group of schools, said that nobody can replace the nourishing presence of the mother in the growing years of a child. "Absolutely no one," she said.  Her views on the right age for children to be sent to school are similar to Neelima Parikh's.

"Sending children to school before they are three is like driving a child away from her childhood. There is a right time for all things and this includes schooling. Before the age of three, children are too young to digest and understand many things. As a result, they begin to hate school and even teachers," she said.

Chauhan feels the right age for children to enter playschool is around three-and-a-half years and that too only for a few hours a day. This introduces the child to the idea of school routine. "Four-and-a-half years is the right age for entering kindergarten," she said.

Psychologists are particularly concerned about the separation anxiety that afflicts children if they are sent to school before they are emotionally ready for it. City-based psychologist Dr Hansel Bachech said that even parents of who have sent their kids to school before they are three, are gripped with anxiety. "Parents of such children develop unwanted anxiety and begin to drive their kids towards fast-paced learning. Such parents are particularly concerned that their children stay ahead of
others in the rat race," he said.

Children are frequently plagued by the fear of losing their parents, said clinical psychologist, Dr Pooja Pushkarna. "This fear becomes a reality, albeit a temporary one, when a child is sent to school. This can be very harmful for a child's emotional health if he is too young. The feeling of 'Why am I being sent away from mom?' grips the child and school becomes a thing to hate," she said.

For children below three years of age, it is best if they are taught by their parents at school, said Pushkarna. She said that this also helps the child acquire a better self-image.

Sending children below 3 years to school can lead to forced learning and this is definitely not good for children, said Dr Rita Roy, child psychologist at Gujarat Institute of Psychological Sciences (GIPS).

Executive director, Ahmedabad International School (AIS), Dr Tarulata, has a slightly different opinion. She said that when children go to school, they get used to the new environment and learn with fun.

"It turns into an extended home for them and helps them get ready for structured schooling later. Enrolling kids in junior KG at 2 or two-and-a-half years of age for two hours should not cause any problems. This will only help them develop in a different social environment," she said.