The most decorated Olympian of all-time, Michael Phelps has shared the story of his personal encounter with depression. The swimming great revealed that he battled severe anxiety and depression for much of his life which drove him to consider suicide after his success at the 2012 Olympics.
The most decorated Olympian of all-time, Michael Phelps has shared the story of his personal encounter with depression. The swimming great revealed that he battled severe anxiety and depression for much of his life which drove him to consider suicide after his success at the 2012 Olympics.
"You do contemplate suicide," the winner of 28 Olympic medals told a hushed audience at the fourth annual conference of the Kennedy Forum, a behavioural health advocacy group.
Phelps was interviewed at the conference by CNN's senior political commentator David Axelrod.
"After every Olympics I think I fell into a major state of depression," the 32-year-old Phelps said.
Phelps said he reached rock bottom following the 2012 Olympics in London where he won four gold medals and two silver. For four days he remained in his room without food or sleep.
"I didn't want to be in the sport anymore," he said. "I didn't want to be alive."
Once again, Phelps said his depression and anxiety problems have been a staple of his life for the past 17 years.
"We're supposed to be this big, macho, physically strong human beings, but this is not a weakness," he said. "We are seeking and reaching for help."
Phelps won his first gold medal in 2004 at the Athens Olympic Games. That same year the 15-year-old from Baltimore experienced his first "depression spell".
Phelps said as he got older his depression led to his abusing drugs and alcohol.
In 2008, after winning a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games, Phelps was photographed smoking from a bong. He has also been arrested twice for drink driving.
Phelps isn't the first Olympic national hero to battle dark demons outside the pool.
Australian Ian Thorpe, who broke 22 world records, wrote in his 2012 autobiography that not only did he consider suicide but he planned ways and places to do it in.
Like Phelps, Thorpe chose to "self-medicate" with alcohol to try and manage his vicious mood swings and silence the horrible thoughts going through his head.
"(Mental illness) has a stigma around it and that's something we still deal with every day," said Phelps. "I think people actually finally understand it is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change."
Phelps retired after the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio as the most decorated Olympian of all-time, winning 28 Olympics medals.
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