It’s tough being a football. What’s worse is when you have for company the craziest of your kind — Miss Show-off, Mrs Woeful and Mr Grumpy.
Ah, it’s San Cristobal, Venezuela. What a ride it has been, locked up in a trunk
for hours. It’s tough being a football. What’s worse is when you have for company the craziest of your kind — Miss Show-off, Mrs Woeful and Mr Grumpy.
Mr Grumpy and I have been together since our journey from Sialkot in Pakistan. We were carved from the same sheet of leather but Grumpy inherited his disposition from an irritable boy, who stitched him together. Miss Show-off and Mrs Woeful joined us for this journey with the Brazil national team.
Miss Show-off says she’s a favourite of Robinho. He doesn’t train with any other ball. What a big talking brat Rob has turned out to be. He’s playing at Manchester City these days and thinks he is God, because he earns so much and is a big star there. Miss Show-off says she has travelled the world with Robinho, but likes Spain best.
Mrs Woeful is always reminiscing about the good old days. She has been around for decades. They don’t throw her away because Pele signed on her. He did a couple of tricks with her too, for the kids who had come to watch him. We blush when she sighs and says nobody made love to her like Pele did. She also thinks Bebeto is the best player in the World, because he once planted a kiss on her.
Mr Grumpy is the smartest of the lot. If only he’d be more bouncy. He says it pains him to see Brazil footballers falling out of love with the ball. He says the caresses have been replaced by brutal kicks. Physicality has taken over the emotional connect. He blames it on the foreign leagues, saying Brazilians are now playing like the English, the Italians and the French.
He says nobody broke his heart like Kaka did. “I adopted him from the moment he scored a spectacular goal with me in training one day. But he went to Italy and never came back. He now puts club before country and refuses to play in Copa America. It’s a shame. He could have been the golden boy of the golden generation.”
There are times when I have tried to make Mr Grumpy smile. When Ronaldo was fit and Ronaldinho had his mind on the game, I would surrender to them totally. Curtailing the temptation to roll away, I would let Ronny conjure up a few tricks with me before he would gently push me to Ronaldo. What a poacher he was. I knew I would end up at the back of the net once on his feet. Mr Grumpy would bounce up and down when he saw that.
Now, we are in Venezuela to play in a World Cup qualifier on Sunday. They aren’t a very strong team. But it hurts to say that Brazil are in complete disarray. They lost to their neighbours for the first time in June this year, a 0-2 shock in Boston.
This was their first loss to Venezuela in 18 meetings. Then started a slide of form, with only one win from next four games. Coach Dunga’s job looks in trouble as Brazil have failed to score in three games after beating Chile 3-0 last month.
I am worried about the game today, because there is little belief in the side. “Nowadays Brazil can lose to any side,” Robinho said just yesterday. I wish I could do something to bring back the magic. But what can a football do, if the feet that play with her aren’t willing to dance?
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