The festive season around Christmas and New Year sees people getting into relationships, albeit just for the moment
There’s nothing more disheartening for singles than not having a partner to hug and kiss as the New Year sets in. Little wonder that studies across the globe point out that this season is when casual hook-ups, one night stands and friendships with benefits clock the highest amount.
Psychologist B Kapur says, “This is a very natural emotion. People always want to belong and feel wanted. Take the New Year Eve for instance. If someone is hanging out with friends, which include couples, they would automatically feel lonely and depressed. A quick and easy solution to avoid this feeling is finding someone who would last until that evening, without wondering about the consequences. While this can play a temporary comforter, it isn’t right.”
But, singles in the city don’t seem to be bothered at all. Anupama Vijaykumar, a copywriter in a leading ad firm, says, “I hate this part of the year. I am 28, most of my friends are either married or in long term relationships. And they’ve all been hounding me about my New Year plans since early September itself. All their plans revolve around couple-centric activities. I am forced to say yes since they’re my friends. But I also have the pressure of finding a date then.” Usually, she ends up with a casual fling over a friend she meets over the internet sites, who’s looking for the same.
Like Anupama, a lot more of the city’s younger lot are resorting to internet sites for casual dating. “The best thing about some of these sites are the fact that you can be open and lay down the rules even before the word go, since you haven’t really met or interacted with the people. They don’t judge you and they are in the same boat as you are. This makes it all the more comfortable,” says Karthik Kumar, a marketing analyst.
Some of these singles even take off to unfamiliar shores to ease that comfort. “I’ve been single for the past five years since I’ve been so very involved in my work to even find time for a relationship. Since I take off during Christmas and New Year, I go on holidays. Sometimes I hook up with men I meet at parties or at work with no strings attached and travel. And I have also ended up travelling alone twice and ended up with one night stands. Since each vacation has been at a new place and around people who don’t recognise me, it eases any chance of having guilt pangs,” says Rashmi Hegde, corporate communications head in an MNC.
What is it that makes this season such a pressurising one, when it comes to relationships? “It is a new year. There is so much hype around it. Popular culture and media too are guilty of making the night larger than life. It ranks higher than Valentine’s Day on the list of singles, which makes them end up doing some acts of folly, if I could call it so. But, the current generation has also learnt to desensitise itself, which makes casual relationships work,” says Malathi Rao, psychotherapist and behavioural analyst.
According to Malini, the current bunch of teenagers comes with lesser strings and emotional baggage. “They have grown up only on western sitcoms and movies. They know that moving on is part of life even before they get into a relationship. And they have no interest in the idea of unconditional or unrequited love. It can be saddening in one way, but it is also empowering to their own egos,” she points out.
(Some names have been changed to protect identity)
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
)
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
)
)
)
)
)
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}
){kind=small}