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For the love of her very own room

When is it the right time to get the child to move out of your room?

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I have been a mummy for almost eight years, and the journey has been very satisfying till now. My kids mean the world to me. But I am sure you would agree that it is not a perfect world and there is no perfect mum. So yes, while I am a proud mum, I also possess the ability to rant about some situations that I find myself in as a mother. One thing I am certain of is that our kids are smarter in understanding us and know exactly which buttons to press to get the desired response from their parents.

Recently, I decided that my 3-year-old daughter needed to move out of our bedroom. Sigh! Yes she still sleeps with us. I took this entire process as a project that I had to complete in a time frame of one month. Little did I realise that it would not be as easy as I envisaged. Stage one was when I gently persuaded her with promises of sleep fairy leaving a chocolate/toy for her if she slept in her own room.

Her instant response to that was, “Mama, chocolates are not good for the teeth so please tell sleep fairy that I don’t want” and “I have lots of toys. I don’t want anymore.” End of discussion. The next stage was slightly sterner where I told her that if she didn’t sleep in her own room everyone would call her a small baby, not a big girl, as she would like to be known.

Well, that worked a bit, she would go to her room but would be back in our bedroom within two hours. In my last desperate attempt to reassert my position as a mum before this project got indefinitely delayed, I got her to choose a few things that she would want in her bedroom to make her room more interesting. So the room got a few pink cut outs and a bit of Dora the Explorer. Voila! It worked like a dream. As of now, she goes off to sleep in her room most times happily, sometimes not so happily.

That brings me to another much-discussed topic between mums. When is it the right time to get the child to move out of your room? Most mums I spoke to were clearly divided on this topic. Some mums I shared this experience with told me that I had left it for too late, to which I tend to agree, as my son had moved out as soon as he was 2. Then, on the other side of the spectrum, are the ones who believe I was being a bit too ‘harsh’ on the ‘poor little darling’ and that I should let her be.

As a mother I have come to terms with the fact that there is no fixed solution to a certain issue that one faces with the child. You have to constantly keep evolving depending on the child, the situation and the environment. What works for one may not work for another and remember as a mum — you know best.      

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