Thin or fat, body shamed anyway

“Your parents don’t feed you?”, “Weather alert: It’s extremely windy outside”, “You look so weak!”. If you are a thin person, it’s fair to assume that you are familiar with these statements. Thin shaming is as bad as fat shaming and most of the times others don’t even understand that it affects people. We speak to three ‘skinny’ people, who share with us their experiences and how they use sarcasm and humour to respond.

‘I’m skinny but fat in all the right places’

“You look like a skeleton” and “You are a bagful of bones were the most common things said to me while I was growing up... and even now. Another annoying thing that was always tossed at me was ‘You are so thin, you’ll fly away with the slightest breeze.’ When I’m sailing for work, many of my colleagues say things like: How can he do the job? He’s so weak and ‘Dum nahi hai isme.’

It’s really frustrating as people randomly say hurtful things. Sometimes I respond with amusement, and at times I just say what’s on my mind. I’ve replied with, “Yes, I’m skinny but I’m fat in all the right places. Ask your girlfriend.” I especially hate the older women in my neighbourhood, who don’t even know me well, but come up to me and say “Why don’t you eat well? You’re so thin.”

They hate me for this, but I say it to them anyway: “I don’t want to become like you. At least I won’t reach the grave faster because of all the cholesterol.” One thing that really amuses me is when people with a paunch, tell me to eat well and become healthy. I have done many time too: I touch their pot belly and ask, “Are you expecting? When are you due?”

Joshua Fernandez, 22, Trainee Navigating Officer

‘I will be lean, mean and ageless’

I’ve been repeatedly called ‘sukdi’ (emaciated), Ms Bones, ‘haddi’ (bones), the biology lab’s replacement skeleton, flat screen TV, candlestick legs, etc. Till date, I still have people wrapping their thumb and forefinger around my wrist while commenting “Wow. You’re really that thin”, followed by questions about my weight and ill-informed dietary tips.

I had a smart mouth even as a kid. I’m not proud of this, but where I was thin, my friends were fat. So I was often nicknamed ‘gubara’ (balloon), blowfish, spongecake, baboon butt, pokemon XL, steamed momos, etc. In my teens, I barely faced anything. Thin girls were in, and to some small extent, we still are. If anybody makes a comment now, I tell them “It’s hard hearing you over all the unlimited food and drinks I get to indulge in because come tomorrow, or 15 years, I’m going to be lean, mean and ageless.” or “Good luck fitting into that dress after just two pieces of cake.”

Pamela D’Souza, 25, Assistant Director

‘I’m trying to compensate for space that everyone else is taking up’

I’m 5 ft 9 inches in height and have never weighed anything over 56 kgs. But more than shaming, I’ve faced a great deal of envy and also, false concern. Most people assume that I have an eating disorder or try to find some correlation between my weight and lifestyle choices. Mostly the jibes I hear are about being two-dimensional, a Bruce Lee lookalike, poster child for the WHO famine campaign, etc. Some people think it’s hilarious to grab my waist between their hands or lift me up. I don’t mind any of it really, and I’ve always found that owning my size is the best policy. Some of my ‘go-to comebacks’ include telling girls that I’d look better in a dress than they ever will (that shuts them up pretty quickly); or “I’m trying to compensate for the space that everyone else is taking up”.

Tanay Sule, 26, Executive Producer

THIN-SHAMING IS BODY-SHAMING TOO

Nipa Sanghavi, Clinical Psychologist at Evolve-the mind centre in Mumbai, shares how deeply thin-shaming affects people. “It affects the way they look and start doubting their personality and start thinking that they are not good looking ‘enough’ just because they are skinny. This is because they are constantly subjected to adjectives such as skinny, petite, tiny and weak. Shaming any body type is equally wrong and affects people.

A deeper impact can be seen in their relationships, as people who are thin-shamed usually have low self esteem; so they eventually fall in to the trap of thinking that they are not attractive enough be in a relationship. Another thing I have observed that they get sort of scared to get intimate with someone because thin shaming for a long period of time makes them extremely conscious about their body. I personally feel that men get more affected due to society pressure. The patriarchal society has stereotyped men, where they are expected to be well built, muscular and healthy looking and in a particular frame.”