The long and short of it: Celebs setting examples for gender-neutral parenting

Some time ago, Hollywood actress Megan Fox shared a picture of her sons Noah Shannon, aged, and Bodhi Ransom, aged four, in which they were sporting long surfer-style mops at the beach. However, the 32-year-old mother got trolled brutally as haters online expressed their nasty comments on the boys’ shoulder-length hair, with some accusing her of taking genderless upbringing too far. On the other hand, Fox also got applauded for the very same reason but the backlash she received was far more. Is celebrities endorsing gender-neutral upbringing the next evolution in parenting? And will the commonfolks follow suit? Read on to know more...

CELEBRITIES ENDORSING GENDER NEUTRALITY IS GOOD

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist, Dr Anjali Chhabria feels it’s nice that celebrities are endorsing gender neutrality. “Celebrity status usually brings in a lot of spotlight and every action is scanned and scrutinised. When people look up to you and you behave against their ideologies or thinking, there are possible negative reactions to be faced. I suppose gender-neutral parenting being accepted by celebs stirs a conflict amongst common folk and at times, results in harsh reactions such as being trolled,” she says.

DOUBLE STANDARDS FOR BOYS?

The idea and perception about boys acting like boys is still very high in the current society, as there is less progressive thought process extended towards them, opines Dr Chhabria. She says that for instance, a lot of catching up has to be done in terms of girls being allowed to do something, like a short-haired girl can be called a tomboy and unfortunately, we don’t have such terms for boys. However, a very rigid perception about boys looking or behaving certain way is difficult to shift. Thus, I feel a double standard exists as a boy not dressing up as a boy is still frowned upon as opposed to a girl wearing pants and shirts.”

On the other hand, Natasha Naegamvala, Director, Nalini of Nalini n Yasmin Salon, disagrees that it’s socially acceptable for schoolgoing girls to have short hair while it’s unacceptable if boys were to have long hair. “I think it is completely up to the discretion of the parent/parents and the children. After all, children too, want emulate their parents. And we are teaching our children to now have a voice of their own. I also believe that children are growing up too fast nowadays and things like colouring hair should be done after a certain age. As for growing it long, I’m fine with that. Colouring hair can be done during vacations and either darkened or cut off later,” she says.

Today, even young children are conscious and experimenting with funky hairdos. Has she encountered young school boys sporting or wanting to sport longer hair? “At the end of the day, why should children and for that matter, boys not have an opinion/voice as to what and how they want to wear their hair? But most importantly, I think it should be up to the parent/s. Sometimes, issues like hygiene can come into play and that’s only when it should matter,” says Natasha, who has met young boys who have had long hair in her salon and outside, and she thinks it’s absolutely fine.

CELEB SPEAK

Celeb mom Amrita Arora Ladak, who has two sons Azaan, eight, and Rayaan, five, says, “Everyone has too much opinion these days thanks to social media. People are up for judgment when it comes to their kids, family, parenting, etc. I put posts and pictures on social media but I never read comments.” She adds, “When I was growing up, I’ve had short hair whereas I had male cousins who would sport long hair. It wasn’t a big deal. Some parents simply let their kids be and don’t follow gender-neutral parenting as such, so there’s no need to label their parenting style into a certain category. Today, kids are evolved, they want to experiment and express themselves and it wouldn’t be right to suppress them. Kids like to follow their parents and hairdos of their favourite celebrities. I wouldn’t mind if my sons want to grow their hair long, like Justin Bieber’s which is cute, not like a rocker’s and as long as it doesn’t get into their eyes or if it’s too hot during summers.”

Television and film actor Arjun Bijlani, who has a three-and-a-half-year-old son, Ayyan says, “Yes, celebs like Megan are challenging gender stereotypes. Nowadays, whatever celebrities do, evokes a reaction and her getting trolled doesn’t shock me.” He adds that long hair is normally associated with girls but a lot of girls sport short hair, like boys. If boys have long hair, it is acceptable at times and we do see a lot of boys with long hair these days. Where school is concerned, it varies according to the rules of the school. So, yes, maybe we need to relook at rules that we adhere to. It also depends on where you are living. Metro cities will be far more accepting. Even age matters. Ask Arjun, what if his son wanted to grow his hair long, would he allow it? “My son Ayyan goes to school and if he wants to have long hair, I see no problem with that. But maybe during the summer, I would want him to have short hair because it gets hot and humid,” pat comes his reply.