The big millennial problem- why are we the way we are?

An Inside Quest interview with renowned author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek has gone viral, thanks to his insights on Gen Y. In the 15-minute video, he covers everything from social media to flawed parenting in summarising the newer generation’s problems.

“Apparently millennials are tough to manage and they’re accused of being entitled, narcissistic, self-interested, unfocused and lazy,” he says. According to him, millennials were dealt a ‘bad hand’. In the video, he brings up four main points to show why millennials act the way they do—parenting, social media, impatience and environment. Sinek is actually right and here’s what parents and teens think about it.

First, bad parenting. Now this, Sinek says, happens because every parent tells their kid that they are the most special, and they can have anything they want. Growing up with this thought brings self-esteem issues in the child when they go out in the real world, because they realise they can’t actually have anything they want, and are not ‘special’ at all. Anushka Shah, 18, says “It’s true that parents sometimes glamorise their children, and seriously overestimate them. I feel like every time I might have failed at something I was never made to feel like it was my fault, so this is probably true.” According to 19-year-old Sarah Jain, “Even when applying to colleges, you realise where you truly stand. In most cases, your parents can’t influence a college decision it’s all based upon your true success. And when you get rejected, you begin to realise you are not actually as amazing as you thought you were.”

Second, there’s social media. Sinek says that we live in a world full of filters, where everyone looks completely fine even if they might be depressed outside. Also, when we get a text, or someone likes our post, we get a hit of dopamine—the same hormone associated with alcohol and smoking, which means it is highly addictive. This is why so many people are addicted to their phones. This makes people compromise on actual relationships, and they can’t make real friends, therefore they cannot rely on anything but their phones. Four out of five teens said that they do make it a point to text many people when they are feeling down, just for a boost of confidence. Meena Jindal, mother of a 15-year-old teen says, “When we were young, there was no such thing as WhatsApp or text message. We relied on the immediate people around us for comfort. Teens these days are constantly on their phones, bothered about ‘likes’ on a picture, or whether someone replies, and that’s why it is very rare to have a bond before instant messaging came along.”

Third, there is the problem of instant gratification. This generation gets everything they want in no time; they get things online in minutes, they can go on dates through Tinder. The problem is relationships and job satisfaction can’t happen instantly. Therefore, the young generation needs to learn patience for them to be able to succeed, and make it anywhere. As all adults say, success does require patience and hard work. Prachi Gupta, 18, believes “Because we live in such a busy world, anything that really takes time gets on our nerves. We want things to be done right then, and sometimes that’s a problem. I personally do get annoyed when I don’t get a text back within minutes or if I can’t get transport to places within minutes, because we’re so used to having everything on our fingertips.” According to Aprajita Gupta, Prachi’s mother, “That’s another change with the generation. We had to wait for everything. Even if I wanted to meet my friend at a coffee shop, we would decide on a time and turn up. These teens could never deal with the uncertainty of such planning. They want everything to be certain and assured, and that’s not how things are in the real world.”

Last, the environment they grew up in. When children are put in corporate environments that don’t help build confidence, instead just encourage them to accomplish short-term goals. He says that the lack of great leadership leads millennials to be the way they are. Long-term success always needs to be a priority, but few believe it is. Ikram Nagani, 18, says, “It’s true we are always encouraged to accomplish short-term goals. For example, the next exam always matters more than anything else, and that attitude has stuck with me even in college. That’s what sometimes makes things difficult for teens when they want to start thinking about their career. It’s just too far down the line for us to really care.”