Relationship Thursday: How to get out of a relationship

Thursday, 22 May 2014 - 3:23pm IST | Place: Mumbai | Agency: dna

Yes, it's tough. But when you got to do it, you got to do it.

1. During your Sunday morning bike ride, take a sharp right turn and go down a different trail. This will tell your significant other that you two are just headed down different paths in life. The metaphor will be clear to them, and they'll never communicate with you again.

2. Take him to the land of coconuts, Kerala. But don't tell him that if you get hit on the head with a coconut, you lose your memory. So why not walk your loved one out to a coconut tree farm where they're likely to catch a quick bonk in the head? Then they don't even remember your relationship!

3. Start blinking a lot. Like, a lot though. More than people blink. It's not weird enough that she 'll notice you're intentionally doing something weird but just weird enough for her to notice and leave you without a word.

4. I need more time and more space. That's why I'm moving 12 hours and 7 states away. Yeah, sure I'll call you... the minute I get there.

5. At the Lok Sabha Elections 2014, she didn't vote for the party that you did. It's now clear that you don't have a common vision. Vote her out of your life.

6. If she swears by Seinfeld (sitcom), then go the George Costanza way. Do the 'It's not you, it's me” routine and be assured you are soon going to be single again.

7. Take him out on a drive and tell him it's over. Obviously, he wouldn't want to mess with someone who's behind the wheels.

8. Chomp, Slurp, Gulp, Burp and Fart. “Sorry! Actually I'm not but that's just me. If you can't live with it, then don't!”

9. “I have received the calling. I go now to renounce all worldly pleasures and devote my life to God. Fortunately, that includes you.”

10. Send him a formal invitation to your break-up party. “Away from you, forever.” Ask him to RSVP.




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