Modern women value traditional ideals

Women today are independent, confident and have carved a niche for themselves in various spheres of their personal and professional lives. While we all have been under the assumption that these 'up on their feet' women prefer nuclear families and plan to go the concise way, a survey conducted by Shaadi.com, a matchmaking website, reveals a trend completely at the other spectrum of the family continuum.

According to their annual survey of its members' matrimonial attitudes, the number of women preferring to live in a joint family post marriage is way more than those who prefer a nuclear family arrangement.

The survey, conducted on a sample of 150,000 across India, Australia, UK, US and Canada, revealed that almost 54% of women favoured an extended family, alongside parents and siblings, while only 21% of women showed their preference for nuclear family.

One can detect a growth of 14% in women opting for marriage in joint families since the last survey conducted in 2004, wherein only 40% women wanted to live in a joint family milieu. Now the big question that one may ask is --

What is the reason behind this 'bolt from the blue' revelation? The survey points out that a support system is needed in today's industrialised and globalized world.  Dr Rohan Kusumgar, consultant psychiatrist, said that, “There are 3 main reasons why women are increasingly opting for joint families post marriage. Firstly is the need for internal security which comes only when you have people to support you in any situation. Second is the need for emotional bonding when you are faced with a problem and third is the division of responsibility and work.”

Pointing out the benefits of being part of an extended family, Dr Pranav Shelat, a consultant psychiatrist and sex therapist said that, “Today's working women want someone to share their responsibility and workload. Everyday I meet women patients who come for counseling with their main problem being high stress levels and depression. All this can be constrained to a great extent when you have family support.”

In a fast paced world that is driven by estrangement and with no time for establishing relations, one needs a morale booster on returning home. Today, while a woman juggles between her professional and personal chores, all she wants at the end of the day is someone back home to help her with the household errands and share and listen to her grievances, which only comes in a joint family system!

Highlighting the positive role of mother-in-law unlike the stereotypical character she is believed to play, Binal Shah, currently working in a CA firm, said, “I want to have time to myself when I return home from work. So if I have a mother-in-law, she will help me with the household chores as well as take care of my kids. Also, as often is the case, if my husband and I fight in the initial phase of our marriage, she could also be a great guide and support system.”

Tula Santoki, an employee in the IT sector, said, “The raison d'être for my preference towards joint family system is the desire for support, support to manage house, handle kids and solve problems. Also, we are so engrossed in our work, we hardly get time to get in touch with our kin, but when you thrive in an extended family you learn to maintain close familial ties.” 

Bringing an altogether different perspective, Dr Nehal Kumar, consultant psychiatrist, said, “A few years back the trend was completely opposite, modern women opted for nuclear families. However, the changing preference now is because people have lived the ill effects of a small family set-up.

Nobody to take care of children, cost factor and increased stress in nuclear family has led to this new trend.” This survey which throws light on the way matchmaking trends are evolving has a positive takeaway; the immense globalization and escalating estrangement is giving way to reestablishment of traditional values.