Alcohol Anonymous, 47 years old today, proves a boon to Bangalore

The story of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is that of exemplary courage. Individual accounts of fighting a Goliath, armed with nothing but a desire to win. Even after years of abstaining from alcohol, there’s no bravado. After all, the AA fellows take one day at a time, always.

AA has come a long way from its humble start in 1935 at Akron, Ohio. Bill W, a New York stockbroker, and Dr Bob S, a surgeon — both alcoholics who had several futile attempts at fighting alcoholism — met, shared stories, and the first stone was laid at what was to become AA later. Here too, AA started small. A handful of friends got together, spoke about their “alcohol problem” and thus was born the Bangalore chapter of AA in 1964. Sunday, June 26, is the 47th anniversary of the kinship.

True to its name, personal anonymity is strict tradition AA members maintain while speaking in public. Each of them has gone through an extraordinary journey, and do not hesitate to share it if that could help a stumbling alcoholic find way back into life. “If my story can give one person the courage to find help to fight alcoholism, then I’ll be grateful,” that’s all he said before taking hours off his busy Saturday to talk to DNA. For now, let’s call him Mr X.

Mr X was an exceptionally gifted child born to a happy, wealthy, and by all means, established family in Bangalore. Sports, dramatics, debating society… he excelled in all. He was 12 years old when at a Christmas party he decided to imitate the family elders doing a bottoms-up on a Chianti bottle. “The buzz hit me. I remember dancing a bit and crashed in my bed.”

Next morning, he got an ear-full from his parents. His next taste of alcohol came during his first year of under-grad. His team had won a prestigious football match. His friends wanted to celebrate, and got a bottle of arrack. Some of them had their girlfriends with them, and one of the girls taunted him: “You are the captain of the winning team, and can’t you hold a drink?” Rankled, he downed his first peg. After his graduation, he moved to the US for further studies. He couldn’t afford his drinks with the pocket money, and so decided to work – as a bartender. He even got himself certified in six months time. Somewhere along, he noticed his behavioural changes. At the first drink he was happy, and two drinks later, he was irritated.

Soon he began suffering from alcohol induced schizophrenia. Then he got into the next stage of alcoholism — paranoia, fear, blackouts. “Alcoholism is the only disease that says you don’t have a problem even when you are dying because of it,” he says, recalling his stubborn denial of his condition.

“Anything and everything became a reason to drink. I didn’t realise that all alcoholics find concocted reasons to drink.” Living with an altered sense of reality became his norm. Hallucinations, delirium tremors – it got out of hand, and something told him that a geographical relocation would be his panacea. He gave away all the material possessions he acquired over the years, and came back to Bangalore. He was just 27. His family took him in gladly, and for a short while, he reined himself, took over family business, but soon was back to drinking one to two bottles everyday. His family decided that marriage would “settle” his ways, but he was against it. “But my parents introduced me to this beautiful girl, and I fell in love. I confessed my wild ways to her, but she was naïve enough to see it all in a romantic light. We got married.” Little did she realise that alcoholism is a “family disease” that affects everyone around the alcoholic. She suffered with him as his drinking got worse. The trauma went on for another three years. His guilt on how he was ruining the lives of his loved ones drove him to drink even more, and he attempted suicide thrice. After his third botched try, a friend gave him three choices. First: write a will, and absolve family from all liabilities, move somewhere away, drink and die. Second: Go to a detox centre, live for four months and then come back. Third: attend an AA meeting that evening.

The third choice sounded most doable. “I had heard about AA long before, but had always dismissed it as something for those who couldn’t control themselves.” He was in for a surprise. They were all just like him — all desired to stop drinking, but couldn’t. There, he met an old friend, whom he thought had died four years ago. “He told me: ‘You have come to the right place’. He was off alcohol for three years by then, and suddenly I was around people who understood exactly what I was going through. That meant so much. It was a miracle. There was no fee involved, no advice, all I had to do was to attend the meeting everyday, and stay off alcohol for that day.”

It’s been 18 years and six months since that evening meeting. He hasn’t taken a sip of alcohol since. “I am alive because of this fellowship,” he says, happily. Mr X is the charming Bangalorean almost everyone in the city knows.

He works, sings, dances, throws parties, and has the best time at them, but without alcohol. He still attends AA meets regularly and is available 24/7 for any alcoholic who reaches out to AA for help.