Urban couples living ''un'happily ever after'

I’d rather call him my flatmate — he returns when the kids are asleep and I’m half asleep, he’s hardly around when needed the most, but I must say he’s regular with his payments,” chuckles 32-year-old homemaker, Shilpi Sarkar, about her techie husband.

Ever felt the same or heard an acquaintance vent out such feelings? If no, then you’ve chosen to live in blissful ignorance and if yes, then welcome to ground reality.

What with hectic schedules, erratic work hours, nuclear families, increasing number of DINK (double income no kid) partners, more and more couples are losing out on the concept of ‘just being together’.

The reactions to such a circumstance could be varied — some vehemently oppose it at first and later, come to terms with it, some accept it as lifestyle while some just withdraw. Anurag Sharma, a 34-year-old banker and his 32-year-old wife Preeti have an eight-month-old daughter, Anupriya.

“Ever since Anu was born, my day and nights are for her. Anurag is a doting husband, but in the last eight months I think we’ve hardly had any time together,” Preeti recollects, adding, “We don’t even use the same room as Anu hates a cot and it’s difficult for all of us to fit into the same bed.” It’s tough to miss the hint of gloom in her voice, but she bounces back, saying, “Anything for Anu.”

Shilpi goes on to say that though her husband Shantanu has weekends off, the ‘we’ time is missing. “It’s either a film or dinner with the kids or if at home, he wants to catch up on his reading. I’m not complaining because I’ve learnt to keep myself occupied,” she states.

This is the tale of many an urban couple — no complaints yet, there’s something amiss. And before you conclude that it’s only women who feel this ‘emotional pinch’, read on, since men aren’t lagging far behind.

Software professional Prashant Menon and wife Kaveri work in different shifts. While he’s out early and returns by six, Kaveri leaves by noon and gets back late.

“Our non-existent social life is what I miss the most,” rues Kaveri, while Prashant says, “Leave alone a social life, we hardly have a personal life. We know the other’s around from the plates in the kitchen sink, the wet towel in the bathroom and so on. It’s been like this for a year-and-a-half now and the only consolation was a Greece holiday.”

While couples are getting accustomed to having a lot of fun, raising kids, taking luxurious holidays, they are also adapting to the lack of being a couple, literally. 

“Ashish and I’ve been living together for the last two years and the more I look around, I feel awkward. I see some beautifully packaged marriages from the outside, but within, the zest seems to have died down. Strangely, the reasons aren’t erring partners. In fact, most of these couples have no clue why it’s so,” says 27-year-old Ankita Pandey, an entertainment professional.

She adds, “And a baby snugly fits into the space between a couple. The void has been filled and both continue living happily everafter lives, individually.”

(Some names have been changed on request)