It’s possible that a woman might fall for two men at the same time. Experts present some solutions for this confusing situation.
Call it the perks of being single or the flip-side of being a charmer, that you have two men in your life. You don’t want to be tagged as a love rat but are not ready to do away with one of your swains either. It’s just a plain perplexity in fact. Most women at some point in their lives have gone through this dilemma.
Psychologist and relationship therapist Dr. Seema Hingoranny explains the phenomenon as an unstable state. “One needs to know the difference between a serious relationship and a fling or just a flirtatious affair,” she says. Though such situations seem fascinating — like the twilight fantasy tales — it can just ramshackle your well-settled life and relationship.
This confusion and torn-between-the-two-men kind of situation generally stems out of the fact that we all have certain pre-formed ideas and notions of our perfect guy. And when you see these traits being divided between the two guys in your life, it can lead to utter confusion and stress.
“Stop messaging, texting, chatting or meeting in private,” suggests Seema. “You do not need to show your sympathy or empathy, this will only encourage the guy. There are many fish in the sea, he’ll find one,” she adds.
Model Deepti Gujral asserts, “It’s a very messy situation. If it were to happen to me, I would confront my first guy and tell him what I’m feeling and dump him maybe. But clearly, I wouldn’t think of dating both the men at the same time. I think such confusion happens only when you lack a comfort zone within your relationship.”
Priti Iyer, 23, a law graduate, recalls that she could not decide between the two guys she was dating in college. “I was dating this guy for almost a year when he introduced me to his friend, with whom I thought I connected at a better level. After going through a lot of mental distress, I flushed both the guys out of my life,” she explains.
Shokana, 28, a business woman, thinks time and experience helped her choose the right guy (now her husband). “It got messed up when it came to getting physical with both. That was when I decided to take charge of the situation and made a rational choice,” she explains.
“The grass always looks greener on the other side,” asserts Dr. Seema, “so you need to make it clear in your head that you cannot get the two men in any case. Trust your intuition and go by your gut feeling, you’ll make the right choice.”
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