Election se IPL tak!

Last night I dreamt that the Kashmir problem has been solved, but India and England have gone to war over Slumdog Millionaire.

It begins as a diplomatic row with both countries claiming ownership of the film but soon escalates into a full-fledged military confrontation after England accuses India of kidnapping Danny Boyle - who's last seen in Dharavi explaining the significance of the film's title - and retaliates by arresting Anil Kapoor from a London pub where he's still in post-Oscar party mode. As the situation goes from bad to worse, AR Rahman threatens to return the two Oscars unless Barack Obama intervenes.

Thankfully, I woke up to a different reality, where India has forgotten Slumdog Millionaire - and its slums. But the Congress party has adopted Jai Ho as its election anthem and triggered a trend among other political parties who're also now looking for appropriate film songs.

In fact, unreliable sources reveal that one of the Left parties briefly toyed with the title song of Chandni Chowk To China, while another with a communal agenda is seriously considering Dev D's Emotional Atyachar.

As the elections approach, the youth is confused and concerned. Like, my 18-year-old cousin threw up his hands in despair after he glanced through a newspaper report on party alliances and said, "You mean I've to remember so many abbreviations when I go to vote? RJD, DMK, PMK, JMM, NC, BJD, SAD, AGP, INLD, RLD, TRS, TDP! This is worse than studying for the chemistry paper."

On the other hand, the shaky foundation of each coalition has led to bets already being taken on who'll pull out and bring down the next government.

But it's not just politics that's going to keep us busy in the coming months. There's also the Indian Premier League with its heady concoction of the three Cs -corporate, cinema and cricket. It's shorter than a Bollywood blockbuster but packs in more action, suspense and glamour.

The IPL is where movie stars not just literally play to the gallery but actually sit in the gallery. It's where Bollywood beauties get to deliver their career-best performance on multiple TV cameras - a plethora of emotions flitting across their faces, reflecting the ups and downs of their teams on the field.

With so much happening in our lives, I wonder when we will find the time to worry about recession.