So far, yet so close

The long-distance relationship is a modern-day anomaly. In a world where trust and fidelity are fluid concepts open to self-serving interpretation, attempts by lovers separated by continents to forge a committed bond might be thought a romantic oversight. Yet, whether by choice or compulsion, long-distance relationships are becoming the norm, with many turning to technology to break once insurmountable barriers. And instant messengers and social networking sites have ensured that Valentine’s Day blues for long-distance lovers is a condition of the past.

The Internet has been the preferred mode of communication among long-distance couples for some time now. During work hours, instant messengers allow couples to chat sweet nothings under the guise of working on the annual report. Back home, video chats reign supreme in curing pangs of longing. Darshana T, a media professional, says, “I must say that technology is a boon. I realise its value now when I’m in a long-distance relationship. Just catching a glimpse of each other, thanks to video chat, is a blessing. And it’s cheap as well.” Agrees public relations executive Sana Thakur, “I find video chat very personal as it lets you see facial expressions of your partner.”

A virtual relationship might be easier to nurture when technology plays cupid in the first place. Arindam, a graphic artist from Mumbai met his wife Lila while swapping comments on a blog. Both avid bloggers soon had a posse of supporters from across the world following their journey from courtship to marriage. But as Arindam observes, while technology is sought after to replicate reality, at least the visual aspect of it, it can oftentimes distort it. Many long-distance couples have experienced this disconnect between the virtual and flesh and blood version of their partners. “We’d use webcams more for a sense of hanging out together than for intimate face-to-face conversations as the cam is never aligned with the image of the other person on the screen. So we’d both look like we were staring into space while talking to each other, and that gets weird,” says Arindam.

But when you’re thousands of miles apart, you’ll take what you can get. Valentine’s Day always has long-distance couples getting inventive with ways to surprise their partner. Nakita Sood, who works with an audit firm, says, “I had made a three-minute movie with the help of Windows Movie Maker. I had put up all our photographs with one-liners. This is all possible because of the technology. Ten years ago you couldn’t possibly think of making a movie and sending it via email.” Divya Mathur, student, plans to make a personalised calendar with old photographs for her boyfriend. “Each month will have a photograph significant to that particular month,” confesses Mathur. 

Neha Sinhasan, a physiotherapist, has already made plans for February 14. “I have a video date. Thankfully it’s a Sunday so I’ll be available on Skype all day. I prefer video chats as I can see his every reaction to what I say. That way, I don’t miss him too much,” she says. 

For many, online gifting helps keep the relationship fun and exciting. “You can use the Internet to celebrate with your partner by creating a blog, a website or even a simple photo collage. The gifts once exchanged personally can now be booked online and delivered to your partner in another country anytime you choose,” says Gaurav Sharma, a Singapore-based marketing executive.

Facebook allows users  to send virtual gifts like a teddy bear or an ice cream to each other. Yellow Rose and the Red Rose stand can be accessed on Farmville for those who want to celebrate love.

Eventually, long-distance relationships are forged in the hope that the distance is not permanent. For the lucky ones, that’s exactly how things turn out. Arindam, who has relocated to Chicago to live with his wife and is still a self-confessed “computer geek of the highest order”, has far too conventional plans this Valentine’s Day. “I’m going to wake her up with a kiss, tell her I love her and serve breakfast in bed.” After all, nothing quite beats the real thing.
Some of the names have been changed on request.