Is the competition at work making you feel insecure

Are you feeling upset because your colleague is performing better than you, he or she has got a better appraisal or was given lesser responsibilities for a particular project? Maybe you need to look into the matter because all of this can certainly hamper your performance and your relationship with your workmates.

“It’s very human to feel insecure at various points of time. But the degrees of insecurity vary from people to people. This degree is usually a result of the self concept which is formed during childhood. If the child doesn’t get proper love or is scolded or criticised too much, then it results in a poor self concept. This then leads to lack of trust in the individual’s potential later on,” says clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany.

Aparna Kamble, sales executive, had a bitter experience with one of her colleagues. She believes that it’s important to get the point across to certain people that you are not insecure of them. “I have a larger client base than this colleague of mine. This used to affect her so she tried devious means like ‘buttering up’ the boss and putting my work down — all to make me feel insecure. But I just stood my ground and made sure my boss knew I am doing my work well,” she says.

It’s also in human nature to attack someone who appears to be the weakest. If you are insecure about somebody, then you are likely to do it all the more. Somu Das, engineer, had to quit his job because his boss was apparently very insecure about him. “My ex boss used to utter hideous comments about my potential. All this started after my idea for an engineering project was accepted by the management and his was rejected.”

The solution to the problem of insecurity lies in admitting the fact that you are not good at certain areas and then start working on them to improve. “Failure is bound to happen but if you own up to your shortcomings, then progress is not far away,” suggests Seema.

She remembers the case of a client who came from a small town and could not speak fluent English. “Everyone used to make fun of him because he could talk fluently and he used to feel really insecure with people who were fluent with the language at his workplace. However, at the same time, he was not willing to admit that he didn’t know the language. I suggested to him to go and tell people ‘I am from a small town and I cannot speak English. Please help me out’. Now the moment he said that people stopped making fun of him and were more than willing to help him,” she remarks.