India may be heading into the Lions’ Den on Monday, but at least DNA is ensuring they should not go unprepared. Varun Zaiwalla breaks down all the things they need to know about the famously hospitable Australians...
India may be heading into the Lions’ Den on Monday, but at least DNA is ensuring they should not go unprepared. Varun Zaiwalla breaks down all the things they need to know about the famously hospitable Australians...
Aggro
Laid back? Just take a look at those Aussies on the pitch! It’s a shame S Sreesanth won’t be there to stoke the fires. Time to step up Sourav?
Barbie
The Australian national dish, meat burnt to a crisp on an open fire. Let’s see if the Indians can blame these for losing games like the Aussies do over curry.
Canberra
A first and last mention for the Australian capital during the series. Nothing cricket related happens here, ever. In fact, not much of any description happens here.
Don
All those years and Australians are going on about him. He may have been ok when bowlers all had bellies and gout, but how would he fare against Kumble?
Emu
Australia’s tallest bird, standing nearly two metres tall. Any bird watchers among the Indian team will be looking forward to seeing some.
Fosters
India has the Mahabharat, England has Shakespeare, and Australia has Fosters. Their greatest contribution to world culture, and synonymous with Aussie cricket.
Galah
Another for the bird watchers, the flaming galah is native to Australia. It is also a common insult, so listen out for Ponting’s “Harbhajan, you flaming Galah.”
Howard, John
As Australian PM he called Murali a chucker. Now he’s been chucked out of office. At least he has more time for cricket matches now.
Irwin, Steve
The late crocodile hunter was the most popular Australian since, well, ever. Let’s hope his exploits don’t inspire Yuvraj to try croc-wrestling. For the croc’s sake of course.
Joey
Not a bird, but nature lovers will still be charmed by the ‘aaah’ factor of these baby kangaroos. Even with mini pouches, they catch better than Ganguly.
King
Or rather Queen at the moment. Aussies hate being reminded that the British monarch remains their head of state. The Indians should repeatedly mention how they got the idea of independence correct.
Line/length
Take your pick, either one describes exactly how those pesky Aussie quicks will torment out brave boys overseas. Can we find both of them too?
Melbourne
Australia’s sporting capital, and home of the daunting MCG. A beautiful place, and still it’s hard to see the Indians looking forward to arriving there.
Nicole Kidman
Australia’s second greatest export, after the aforementioned Fosters. She has celebrated her roots throughout her Hollywood career, by never mentioning them.
Opera House
To some, an architectural marvel. To other, a giant golf ball that’s been sliced up. Perhaps the drama on the pitch will turn out to be
suitable stuff for opera.
Penguins
If the Indian bird watchers go looking for these, they may end up missing a few games.
Qantas
Australia’s national airline. In fact, it’s the ‘Spirit of Australia.’ Here’s hoping the Indians are flying Qantas, so they can learn something about that spirit.
Roger
Mr Federer will almost certainly be busy winning the Australian Open. If the Indians need a reminder of what great sportsmen do, they should drop in.
Sledging
What more needs to be said? Probably quite a lot. Australia’s No.1 art form, at which India are rank amateurs. They may be better off not trying to compete.
Twins
Mark and Steve. Like Romulus and Remus, they founded a great civilisation together, a cricketing one. Their influence is still painfully felt by visitors.
Underarm
Just a suggestion for the Indian players. If Ponting and Hussey have scored 400 runs together, a little underarm bowling might shake things up?
Victoria
On the one hand, a state in south eastern Australia. On the other, a further opportunity to remind those arrogant republicans about their British monarchical history.
Whinging
Due to their winning a lot, Australians spend considerable time accusing their victims of cheating. No one whinges after losing, however, like the Aussies themselves.
Xmas
Kumble’s men will be spending the festive season Down Under, and can look forward to Christmas on the beach, with Santa arriving on a boat. Crazy Aussies.
Yabba
A legendary spectator at Sydney’s SCG. His stand is now officially named Yabba Hill. His greatest moment? Those are the only balls you’ve touched all day!” (To an English batsman adjusting his box in between overs.)
Zombies
One for the cricket fans who have stayed behind. Waking up at 4.30am to watch a Test match is bound to dampen a worker’s productivity, but we do it because we love it.
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