Don’t panic, stressed parents told

With board exams just around the corner, it’s the parents who are more stressed than the students appearing for the exams. While experts have time and again said that family support during exams is most crucial for the students, unnecessary anxiety, over expectations and the recent spate of suicides has left most parents perplexed.

“We are getting frantic calls from parents, and the recent suicides have added to their worries. While parents don’t want to
pressurise, they sometimes don’t know where to draw the line,” said Seema Hingorrany, a clinical psychologist and child therapist.

“Some are even asking their children if they are suicidal or depressed. While it’s okay to look for symptoms, don’t be suggestive at all. Some are even afraid to leave the child alone. They must spend time with the child but don’t be too vigilant.”
Experts say that expectations will not only create tension but also affect the child’s performance. Treat exams like any other event in life and if the child is panicking, it is crucial that parents stay calm, they advise.

“It’s important that children should be told that they will be loved irrespective of how they perform. Parents should stop nagging the child and must interact with children on aspects other than exams. They should make it look like the world is coming to an end, nor create a funeral-like atmosphere at home,” said Kersi Chavda, president, Bombay Psychiatric Society. “Also stop going to the tuition teacher who goes on and on about how little you know. It’s important to have positive and encouraging people around you.”
Kirti Narain, principal, Jai Hind College, said that parents should stress on the fact that good results are not everything in life.

“During a joint counseling session with parents and students, we
showed them examples of people who had done well academically, but didn’t do well in life. The point is that good marks are not the be-all and end-all of your life,” Narain said.
Psychologists believe that as dreams and aspirations of parents and students rise each year, the uncertainty and anticipation peaks during exams and results. “The child is already pressurized so it’s important to create an atmosphere at home where the child feels comfortable. Don’t make children a target of your stress,” said Renu Daga, psychologist, Blessing Foundation. “Strictly avoid glorifying past achievements as well as getting into blame game over previous failures.”

Experts also emphasised that a healthy diet and proper sleep is most crucial during the exam season. “Micro-breaks after every two hours are essential. Simply chill, listen to your favourite music or do something you like,” said Hingorrany.