Here are the parameters that define love between two people in today’s times...
What does compatibility mean to you? If one searches the word ‘compatible’ one will be able to find various quizzes, horoscopes and tests. Nowadays, long distance relationship is the “in” thing. It has it ups and downs. A long distance relationship can give space, time and freedom for oneself. But, on the other hand, you question how compatible you are with your partner? There is a famous quote by George Levinger — What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. There is no doubt it is much easier to develop a relationship next door. But, sometimes one doesn’t have a choice.
Says psychologist Deepti Makhija, “Every case is individual. Few cases fail miserably — the reason is excessive space, less physical proximity, when a partner doesn’t fit into another person’s routine, it becomes stressful for the partner. This can be avoided when there is good communication between partners because it helps to clear misunderstanding and automatically, there is bonding between the couple, which helps in a successful long distance marriage. And also, when one chalks down each other’s expectations, it is much easier to understand each other.”
However, actor Gauri Tonk, wife of TV actor Yash Tonk, believes it is ‘team work’ which helps in a successful marriage. Tonk says, “During the outdoor shoot, either my husband or me stay at home and take care of the kids. And, after all the hard work during the week, they spend quality time during weekends either attending a party or dinner with family and kids which is very necessary for family bonding.”
Does the compatability change for those who stay apart? For a couple who live in two different continents, Europe and US respectively, both of them being computer engineers, it’s tough. Perin and Amal Somarajan, a newly married couple says, “If my partner is my better half, that partner better be with me. Sadly we agree that often there isn’t much choice.”
Adds Amal, “Another factor which plays an important role is the income and choice to study further. We didn’t enforce each other’s decisions. Instead, we understood each other’s needs and circumstances and felt they were very important for a successful marriage.”
Thus, every relationship whether part or apart has to face difficulties, but there are conditions that help people to get onto stronger ground.
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