Finding Church Bollywood

I  was surprised to read in The New York Times recently that many Indian tourists are visiting Switzerland, accounting for 325,000 hotel nights annually.

The article opened with the story of a couple from Mumbai travelling there for their honeymoon.

Switzerland is, of course, an age-old tourist destination. People flock there to breathe the clear, cold air, soak in the beauty of its pristine mountains and gaze at the majestic banks holding much of the world’s not-so-pristine money. Skiing enthusiasts zoom down Switzerland’s snow-laden hills for a week and rave about it for a year. Food lovers dig into popular Swiss dishes like sauerkraut and fondue.

But these don’t appear to be attractions that would attract Indians. The prospect of a cold holiday — rendered colder by sliding down mountains at high speed — leaves us cold.  If we want to see buildings that are stacked with cold, hard cash, we can walk along Juhu in Mumbai or Raj Path in Delhi.

As far as food is concerned, we’re unlikely to be enticed by sauerkraut and fondue; when we travel abroad, we carry our own food (along with utensils to cook it). And we can simply appreciate the beauty of Switzerland’s mountains and gardens by watching a Bollywood movie.

So I was intrigued at this sudden Indian interest in Switzerland. Reading on, I learnt was this illustrious couple went all the way to Montbovon, Switzerland, to look for a particular small village church. I was surprised and a little moved. While I’ve heard my grandfather’s generation say: “I must visit the Kashi Vishwanath temple once before I die”, this was the first time I was seeing a similar sentiment being expressed by young people from today’s modern and progressive India.

But then I read the real reason for the young couple’s pilgrimage and felt less moved. Apparently, this particular church was where Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol finally came together in their favourite film, Dilwaale Dulhaniyan Le Jaayen Ge (neatly translated as The Brave Heart Will Take the Bride by the newspaper). “She kneels and prays,” said The New York Times, “while he cavorts in the dark, neo-Gothic church. In the end, she breaks off an engagement and he wins her hand.”

The paper went on to report the difficulty the couple had in their hunt because Chopra had shot the interior and exterior in different churches… and my mind began to wander. I thought about my college friends Manhohar Bhasin and Pooja Vaidya, both avid movie buffs, so united in their adoration of Shah Rukh Khan that they became united in marriage (I believe he proposed while they were watching Darr for the fourth time together). I could easily imagine them in the role of this young couple and promptly began to do so.

In my mind’s eye, I could see Bhasins hastily depositing their bags in the hotel, running to the concierge and excitedly asking him to direct them to the famous Montbovon chapel.

“Which famous chapel, Sir?” the concierge asks, puzzled.

“The one where Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol got reconciled in Dilwaale Dulhaniyan Le Jaayen Ge,” Bhasin says impatiently, but the concierge shakes his head in ignorance.

Soon the Bhasins discover that the concierge is not the only ignoramus in Switzerland. People are able to show them locations where Indian movies were shot: snowy mountains where our heroines have run down in saris, sleeveless blouses and high heels; fields of yellow flowers where our heroes have belted out heart-wrenching songs; and crowded streets where they have both danced vigorously. But no one can precisely recall this church.  

A weaker couple may have thrown in the towel, but the Bhasins are made of more resilient rubber. “We’ll find the church on our own,” they say. Having watched the movie several times, the image of the church is firmly etched in their minds.

They employ a taxi and drive around the town of Montbovan, covering church after church. Their patience is rewarded. After visiting sixteen churches, they see the tell-tale steeple rising up above the trees. “That’s it!” Bhasin cries, “Drive there!” But when they run inside, they find that the interior is all wrong.
“No!” says Pooja, “This is not where Kajol prays.”

“You’re right,” her husband says, “Adityaji must have shot the interior in a different church.”

So they get back into the cab again. Fourteen churches later, they find the right one.

“But we have a problem,” Bhasin tells the cab driver, “How do we re-enact the scene?” He explains what happens in the movie.

“You mean,” says the cabbie, “You want to run and dance outside, while she prays inside…”

“Exactly! And then I rush inside into her arms. Can you help us?”

“Meeting goofy tourists’ goofy needs is how I make money,” the cabbie says… to himself. To Manohar Bhasin, he says: “Sure. I’ll drive your wife to the other church. Meanwhile you run around and dance here. In twenty minutes, I’ll come back to drive you to her and you can do the second scene.”

“You’re a life saver,” says Bhasin, with tears in his eyes, “And can you film the whole thing on this video camera? We want to show this to our children later.”