In digital age, what’s friendship’s status message?

Every morning, chat boxes on computers around the world, light up and messages fly across the miles. The rules are always the same. Do you have an idea to share? Abbreviate it to 140 characters or less. Amused? Send a smiley. Worried? Post a frownie. Have a brilliant bit of philosophy to offer? Spout it in style.
And so, photos are shared, ideas are exchanged, thoughts are delivered. Friendships blossom, buddy circles expand and soul mates strike a chord in cyberspace.

As another Friendship Day rolls around this August, youngsters believe that it is also the time to celebrate the age of e-friendships. These are the friends who spend hours trying to impress each other with clever status updates. They pore over their friend’s albums, privately envying or loving what they see. They spy into the lives of the friends of their friends. They follow the mood and energy of the people they like.

Is that how real friendship should be defined? Yes, say youngsters who believe that people should always be ready to embrace new trends. Such relationships may seem cursory to an onlooker, but they could be as deep and meaningful as friendships in the past which depended on letters in the post or meeting pals and hanging out together.

Says 24 year old Sonia S, who has 1,600 friends on Facebook alone, “I think we should see friendship as a relationship that is multi-dimensional now. It is converging on so many levels. The whole concept of friendship may seem superficial now, but at least we are trying to connect with other people. And though, social networking sites cannot be the yardstick for friendships, it must be appreciated that people are attempting to stay in touch with each other. This might not have been possible otherwise, since all of us are so busy all the time.”

“It’s good to feel connected with many people,” says young Lalitha Lakshmipathy. “But all my e-buddies are not necessarily my close friends. The Internet is diluting the whole concept of real friendships. Most people are very busy trying to impress others with their status updates, or by posting photographs of their holidays, parties or good times. Everything depends on numbers: as in how many friends you have on your site, how many respond to your status updates and how many of them look at your photos. But who would you go to in your bad times or when you are feeling low?”

According to young student Devina Jayanth, friendships must be measured by quality, not quantity. “There is a thin line between networking and friendship now. In many relationships, it is more about networking than actually being friends.”

Some people find it important to cultivate close friendships consciously. Says stylist Swati Gupta, “I still do special things for my close friends on Friendship Day. We may not make Friendship bands anymore, but we still let our close friends know that we value them by sending presents or special messages.”

According to Abhimannue RS, life coach at Edge Academy, people had to take an effort to build a relationship in the past, but that is not the case now. “Earlier, friendships required a commitment that took you beyond your comfort level,” he says.

“But social networking sites made it easier and therefore, have lessened the intrinsic value of a friendship, because there is always a direct co-relation between effort and value. On the one hand, it has enhanced the friendship experience with photos, video and updates and on the other hand it has taken away the intimacy that came with real bonds. This Friendship day, it is important to find a middle ground. A social networking site must not replace a real friendship. It should only be the periphery or the ‘add on’ in any relationship.”