Hello there,
First of all, thanks a lot for writing to me and sharing these intricate and intimate details about your life. I’m extremely sorry about the loss of the boy you were dating. You must see a counsellor personally and seek help to get over any sort of guilt you have about your relationship or any aspect that might have been left unfulfilled in your relationship with him.
Having said that, if you feel from within for a new man — someone who is nice to you, who is looking forward to knowing you and you’re comfortable with him, then it’s not wrong. That feeling from within you is not wrong at all.
You are allowed to fall in love again. You’re not going to be judged for something that was not in your control — not your ex-boyfriend’s sudden demise nor for falling in love with someone else in the future.