Woman of letters: A new leaf

Dear Salman,

I have to be honest — you've not been my favourite star.

An early fan of Shashi Kapoor and Cliff Richard, the sweet chocolate box pop idols of my growing years, when my friends preferred the more raunchy Shammi and Elvis, I naturally graduated to the softer, more cuddly Aamir and cerebral SRK over you.

Then when you kind of went off the tracks with your wild boy ways and stories of your drinking, alleged violence towards women and general rowdiness began to pile up, along with the notorious hit-and-run hit and black buck shooting indictments, I found myself turning the page or changing the topic whenever you appeared.

It did not help that a media scoop of your drunken abusive phone conversation with an actress depicted you in poor light (it was retracted and the paper apologised later, I believe). But you get the drift: as far as I was concerned, you were certainly not my type!

But of course, I would not spend my time writing to you if this was all I had to say to you. Because, as a keen observer of Bollywood, trends, personalities' affairs and lifestyles, I rarely have come across someone who has evolved as rapidly and substantially as you have.

From a supposed ne'er do well and troublemaker, you have become known as not only one of the most likeable stars around, but a person, who on many counts, deserves to be respected and emulated.

Three things prompt me to state what is even now a controversial statement, given that the cases for the black buck shooting and the hit-and-run accusations (in which many lost their lives) have not been resolved.

Firstly, there's the way you have taken the sting out of the criticism hurled at you by sending yourself up on every occasion you can find. The twinkle in your eye, the knowing wink and the guffaw that accompanies your public appearances as well as the roles you choose present someone comfortable in his own skin, someone aware of his own shortcomings and someone who has nothing to prove.

'Lovable rascal' might as well have been a term invented to describe you.

Second, is the grace with which you have dealt with your very public breakups. Losing a woman isn't easy, and in the recent past, you have lost two, very publicly, to other men.

When most thought that this would devastate one as passionate as you, in fact you have handled yourself and the ensuing collateral damage with admirable maturity, neither playing the lovelorn hero nor the bitter loser and making it easier for all concerned — the women and their new paramours — to move on.

But what most endears you to me and many others is the dignity and grace with which you have dealt with a somewhat complicated family life, the circumstances of your father's two marriages, your extended step family and the progressive attitude and respect you have for women in your own family and their freedom to wear, behave and work the way they want to. It shows that far from the bad boy image that you so sportingly promote, in fact you are a mature, thinking, feeling and sensitive person — one who displays a rare maturity and grace.

All this has been brought home of course by the recent marriage of your sister Arpita, and the heartfelt gratitude and love she has expressed for you and your brothers and the way you have gone all out to make her special day special.

In fact, most people in the industry say that you are one of the most caring, generous and big-hearted actors in Bollywood. Never judge a book by its cover is an adage we've grown up with, but who would ever have imagined that from the callow, hot tempered star you would evolve in to a lamb in wolf's clothing?

Which is why I write to you, because in a world, full of those who pretend to be better human beings than they are, you have shown us that just being yourself — good bad, naughty, wild, caring and generous is what Being Human is all about.

Every body deserves a second chance and you've used yours magnificently!

Yours sincerely etc
malavikasmumbai@gmail.com