Dr Hasmukh Adhia: 'Adhambhitvam' for a humble living

Just as maanitvam (demanding respect) is the surest way to be unhappy in life, dambhitvam (showing of what is not) is another way to catch people's attention in order to expect some respect or gain, which ultimately makes one sad. This is the reason why the second value written in scriptures is adhambhitvam (opposite of dambhitvam).

We all have our pretensions in varying degrees. People use different methods to enhance self-importance. They dress snobbish, flaunt objects of luxury, create high sounding titles for oneself and drop names among others. When a person says, "I know Amitabh Bachhan well," we are impressed, not realising that everyone knows Amitabh Bachhan 'well', but Amitabh Bachhan may not know him at all. This malady of pretending is called dambhitvam. People showoff to look important, be respected or for self gain.

Even the godly people are in dambhitvam's trap. They wear designer saffron clothes, sling a rudraksha mala around their neck, put vibhuti on their forehead and wear their hair long (braided or open). Most well-known spiritual people move around with an entourage of disciples. They are found speaking of how they met the prime minister or some person of importance. They are not only very happy with all the media attention but quite a few of them manage it systematically.

While maanitvam is expecting respect, dambhitvam involves manipulating it, which is worse than the former. It is cheating someone in a sophisticated manner. Dambhitvam arises out of lack of self-esteem as well. A person who is hollow from inside, tries to make a bigger show of his talents or wealth or friendships. There is always a pressure inside to speak or do something which makes one look important. Empty vessels make more noise. Their minds play several tricks to make them acceptable in the society as a person of knowledge and importance. It is a 'compulsive urge to prove oneself'.

A genuine person is always respected because he speaks what he thinks and does what he speaks; not a grain of pretension in him. People loved Mahatma Gandhi not because of the way he dressed, or his oratory skills or his camaraderie with influential people. They loved him and continue to admire him because of his simplicity and lack of pretensions.

Scriptures say that if you have a great virtue or are genuinely wealthy or powerful, you should have the maturity of not exhibiting it. We have to see whether we are happy with ourselves. If it is so, then why do we want others to recognise it? Society automatically respects those who are simple, humble, down-to-earth and focused on their duty.

Adhambhitvam (absence of pretensions) is a great quality. One should try to develop it in life.

— The author is an IAS officer of Gujarat cadre