This whacky columnist refuses to take anything, even the ‘bigger’ relationship issues, too seriously
Some general advice: Dear straightpeople, just because someone is gay, s/he doesn’t fancy you. Dear gay people, straightpeople aren’t straight because they haven’t “tried” it yet.
I’m a 27-year-old girl who has been in a relationship with a guy for six years. A few nights ago I received a drunken call from him: he admitted to being gay. The next day, he admitted to having some ‘feelings for men’ but insisted that he loves me. Should I let this go, or let the guy go?
Dear Miss Last-Straw, of course you should let him fly away; as is now apparent,he was always a bird. In fact, what you now have is the best girlfriend ever — all the shopping and makeup advice — minus the jealousy and vengefulness! Energy can be rekindled, shit luck on the wasted time though. Scout for your next worthwhile erstwhile. But when you meet this next guy, try and not tell him how you pushed your last one over the edge, and I don’t mean cliffs.
I’m a gay guy and I’ve been out and proud since I was in my teens. Now I’m dating this guy who is scared of being ‘outed’ and keeps talking about how our relationship is temporary because he could never hurt his parents. It bothers me. Should I let him get comfortable, or push him to acknowledge and legitimise our relationship to his friends and family?
My Dear One-Man-Parade, I never met a gay man who wasn’t proud; it is the straight that are shy. And your partner certainly seems to be fashioning himself so. At some point he has to come out, but you may not be around. So ask him to step out and take it like a man, or a woman, whichever he feels more confident about. If you consider this ‘love’ then consider my advice ‘fair’: be the harbinger of this little piece of news for his ignorant family – either they’ll accept it all or they’ll disown him, he’ll have nowhere else to go and shall come skipping into your arms!
I hate to be such a gay stereotype — but I’ve been stupid enough to fall madly in love with my straight friend. He’s great but I think this would spoil the friendship. Should I confess?
Dear Rainbow’s-End, I may be heterosexual but I totally empathise — so many of my best friends of the opposite sex were the constant object of my desire. The trouble was I managed to convince them and we had some awesome nights, and then it went weird, to abrupt, till either the friendship or the sex faded. All in all, time well spent: like Facebook but with a lot more action. But this isn’t about me, or Facebook; tell him about your affection, leaving out the explicit bits. But you regurgitate it once and never bring it up again,or else he’ll have a good reason to leave you. Unless he decides to switch sides. Either ways, you are rogered!
If you have a problem that requires an unconventional solution, email us at itspersonal@dnaindia.net
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