Gamers don't always score poorly on relationships

Sprawled on the sofa, glued to the screen, ignoring anyone that passes by is the typical mental image associated with an enthusiastic gamer. Generally compared with couch potatoes for being equally addicted, gamers have often been stamped with a sealed fate that works on a common assumption that they will lead lives filled with failing relationships and dwindling friendships.

However, this may not be the case according to Penn State researchers. “There’s a common stereotype that if you play video games, then you are a loner,” said Benjamin Hickerson, assistant professor of recreation, parks and tourism management. “But it may have more to do with how a person is involved in gaming that determines how their social support is affected,” he adds.

‘Video gaming is not always a negative’
In a study of people who played multi-player, first-person shooter games, like the Call of Duty and Halo, gamers who organised their lives around gaming activities tended to experience a negative effect on their friendships and relationships. On the other hand, the researchers found that gamers who primarily played the game as a way to reinforce social bonds said they experienced higher levels of social ties and support.

“What the study does seem to point out is that video gaming is not always a negative,” Hickerson said. “Players may actually be doing something positive when gaming becomes a way for games to connect with friends who they otherwise may not be able to spend time with, especially friends who they are not close to geographically.” So, is excessive gaming a relationship deal-breaker?

How much is too much?
Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria says, “Well playing games in leisure time is different from getting obsessed with it and normally people who are obsessed will not even realise how much time money or effort they are spending on gaming.”

Varkha Chulani, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, agrees and adds, “Gaming is an activity that is very high on stimuli. It excites and impinges on the nervous system to create a kind of a high and a rush. Relationships in comparison are pretty mundane, ‘boring’ affairs. The rush is mostly there only in the beginning and then regular day-to-day living creeps in. For people with a constant need for a ‘kick’ getting along with partners may not be the answer. Seeking out more ‘thrilling’ adrenalin rush providing activity leads them to invest more time where they get their high.

Thus they may not be paying attention to what their partner needs and constantly be diverting all their energies to gaming. It’s not the only reason for break-ups — however, if the partner doesn’t have the same passion for it, it can lead to relationship difficulties.”

Varkha elaborates, “Relationships require time and effort. Many a time gamers have very little of both. Often people also resort to gaming out of boredom they feel in the relationship. It’s an escape, a way to avoid unpleasant encounters or to avoid the partner.”

How do you know if you are a gaming addict?

Do you get angry or upset when asked to stop?
If the answer to this question is an affirmative, you definitely need help as you are no longer in control of the console, it’s the game that controls you.

Do you lie about the time you spend gaming
If you notice yourself getting defensive about your love for gaming and the amount of time you spend on it, it’s a sign that something is not right.

Your life revolves around the game
You have started neglecting the people who matter to you, and spending  time gaming is your number one priority. This is a clear sign of addiction and it’s serious if you have been ignoring your work, family and friends just so that you can spend some extra time gaming.

Spending too much money on games
While gaming requires you to set aside some time for it, there are others that also encourage you to invest money in them. If you notice that you are spending a lot of your finances on gaming and not having enough for your day-to- day expenses, there is a cause for concern.