Are you kidding or what?

Malls are amusing. And scary. In fact, they are so scary that you don’t need a scary house in them for entertainment. All you have to do is find the centre point of the mall and just go stand there. One can break into a sweat, without having to make much of an effort.

It happens to me all the time. Apart from random people screaming some sort of promotion into a microphone, praying that someone will volunteer to do fifty push-ups in public, or sing off key, in the hope of winning some prize, the ‘attractions’ also include ignored children, weeping lovers and angry-couples. And you thought life was boring.

Some time ago, as I was rushing in and then out, after buying a birthday present, I heard a shrill voice behind me, “Hands up!”  Now I know I was not in the middle of any CSI episode but I actually froze and then turned around. A young kid was running around, playing cops and robbers with his brother (this I know because they wore identical clothes) who was even younger. Hands up! Hands up! They kept shouting at each other. 

After having seen a kid drive a Ferrari on Youtube, I was almost certain that these two boys had driven themselves there for a ‘boy’s evening out’, especially since I didn’t see any parent or guardian watching over them. I stood around for a while, watching the two trying to solve a serious crime, till a lady came rushing to them, arms laden with bags. “I am going to spank you both when we get home. Can’t you two stand still in a place for even a minute?” I turned and left. It couldn’t have been a minute, could it? I thought later.

She had at least six or seven shopping bags in her hands. Let’s say she took just ten minutes in each of the shops; it would mean that the kids were being subjected to her shopping game for at least an hour. Do mothers actually expect their children to follow them around obediently for a full hour (at least) without losing their patience? I don’t have children, so I can’t really put forth an informed perspective, but if I was ever dragged to a mall and made to walk around for 60 minutes without being bribed with candy or ice cream, I would run away too!  

A  week or so back, we’d carried a story that debated whether children  below a certain age should be allowed into fine dining restaurants because they  tend to get bored and then start troubling other guests. Should restaurants and malls exercise their right to limit entry below a certain age a little more seriously? It can’t happen with the malls, of course not; they are one of the most-preferred entertainment  zones for kids.

But if a shopping destination is expecting a person, with kids  in tow, to spend money there, would it not be courteous to create a zone  where kids could be left, under supervision, for an hour or so?

What about  movie theatres? What makes it okay for parents to bring in toddlers and young  kids to a film that is clearly not made for them? I have seen kids in theatres  that are screening films that come with a very obvious ‘A’ certificate, and  people behind the ticket counter or the check points let them in.

I am no one to suggest that parents should leave these kids at home, or wherever, or  simply not come to theatres or restaurants till the kids are all grown up and can be  left alone or brought along. But what about those people like us who are forced to sit next to a child who  wants your popcorn (which is probably the easiest thing to share) and then starts  wailing out of boredom or wants to punch the villain on screen or is staring  hard at a kiss and wondering what’s going on. 

At which point am I allowed to think  that something is terribly wrong? Like I said, amusing and scary.