Hot off the Bollywood shelf

I am amused by the way we use the words ‘shelf life’ to talk about female stars. It makes them sound like a jar of exotic body butter you slather on for ‘added pleasure’. I am not sure who used it first in the context of Bollywood — but it definitely reads like the nasty piece of work by one of the formidable editors of the gossip columns and film magazines of yore.  

When it comes to our women, we have been rather creative with our labels that commodify, sexualise and sometimes dehumanise them. 

For instance, no one can ever own the label ‘Bong Bombshell’ the way Bipasha Basu once did. While one half of the world thought Bong was just a cute colloquialism for Bengali, the other ‘knowing’ half would always look for the curves of a certain apparatus in her famous body, instead. 

Southern Siren was a polite euphemism for a noticeably voluptuous woman. She was a certain ‘type’ who usually had dusky skin, wore flowers in her hair with a two-size too-small blouse and a petticoat. Everything changed once lush paddy fields were overrun by slim, fair and lovely Northern girls. They wore tiny cholis and matching skirts and were happy to be scooped into jars and put on shelves with a best-by date. As a certain female filmmaker once remarked, tongue firmly in cheek, the template for the seductress had suddenly gone south. 

The worst offenders perhaps were male stars of a certain generation and the ecosystem they spawned of hangers-on and sycophants, financiers and filmmakers. Sometimes it was a talented dancer who was reduced to her pout, blonde wig and slit skirts, scripted to be humiliated for her sexuality. At others, it was a talented actress who was destined to be the ‘girl who got raped’ and eventually ‘the girl who hung herself.’  The camera never, for once, lost focus of what was important - the woman’s heaving bosom and the hero’s handsome face.

The quintessential ‘item girls’ of the past decade were a product of our collective craving for a value - added extra. Just like loaded fries. Sinful. Binge worthy. A delectable surprise dish, never to be had as the mains. 

Lines are blurred now. It has taken the likes of Raveena Tandon many years, motherhood and a studied distance from commercial films to move from being labelled an edible slice of ‘mast cheez’ to an ‘activist-actor’. It may get easier with age, if one chooses to embrace it. Others, such as Malaika Arora or Bipasha Basu, have perhaps mastered the art of cryogenics. In tabloid parlance, these ‘age-less beauties’ are ‘well preserved,’ just like Grandma’s pickled chillies. 

And now think of all the male stars who are on the other side of 40. At the best, they are like wine’ or ‘fine’ scotch’. Mature. Aged well. We are celebrating how Akshay Kumar has embraced his grey hair and wrinkles. He was recently seen in a film with a very young actress who looks like a mannequin in a Lokhandwala shop. Done up.  

The Day’s Special on the menu is often a function of the chef’s fancy and the fresh catch of the day. Occasionally, it is just yesterday’s leftovers, dressed up with a great sleight of hand.

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