Faking news: 200 MW wasted on shouting during this session

While crores of taxpayers’ money is believed to have gone waste as the monsoon session of Parliament could function only on six days, the CAG has calculated a loss of at least 200 Megawatts of energy due to non-functioning Parliament.

In an interim report leaked to Faking News, the CAG has claimed that this much of energy could have been used to light a remote village of India, but the leaders of India preferred to waste it over shouting and having a scuffle in Parliament.

“Each MP, on an average, burns 280 calories each time he runs to the well of the house, shouts slogans, pushes other MPs, throws copies of bills, etc., before running out of the house after an adjournment is announced,” the CAG report claimed. “These calories are used up within two minutes, the average time taken for either the Lok Sabha or the Rajya Sabha to get adjourned.”
Since one Calorie equals 4.184 Kilojoules and one Watt equals one Joule per Second, the CAG calculated that around 9.76 Kilowatts of energy was wasted by each MP on every adjournment in either of the houses.

“Since Parliament didn’t function for 13 days during the monsoon session, and both the houses were adjourned twice every day – before and after lunch – every MP effectively wasted 253.83 Kilowatts of energy in this session,” the report claimed.
Since the total number of MPs in both the houses of Parliament is 790, the CAG concluded that the country incurred a “presumptive loss” of 205 Megawatts of energy due to frequent adjournments and slogan shouting by the honourable MPs.

When Faking News pointed out that not every MP could be assumed shouting and not every MP could be assumed present during the adjournments, the CAG claimed that such factual details were not integral to the concept of presumptive or notional loss.

“And dude, you still believe that CAG reports are all about accounting methods or calculation of these large numbers? Of course there is no 200 Megawatt of any tangible or usable electricity that got wasted,” a source at the CAG retorted. “Just like those lakhs of crores of rupees are not exactly to be found in someone’s bank account.”

“These huge numbers are just to attract your attention. Look at what actually happened. How rules were bent and arbitrary decisions were made by those in power. Since our mandate is not to pass judgments on policy or executive decisions, we take this route,” the source explained.